From Ohio this week we have a story almost too horrific for words.
Not the Bee
Akon’s futuristic city inspired by Wakanda officially canceled
I bet this is somehow the fault of white Christian men!
Brand Manager: Sales Down 41% On First Day Of Amazon “Prime Day” Week
Sad! Not good! China hardest hit!
Florida might make customers gut and behead their own chickens if they buy from small farmers 😬
I don’t know about you, but whenever I buy a chicken I tend to like it headless, footless and gutless.
Jasmine Crockett says the guys who tried to assassinate Trump were Trump supporters 🤡
Just when I tought Jasmine Crockett could not get any dumber, she proves me wrong.
Monty Python’s Terry Gilliam might have to scrap his latest film satirizing wokeness because Donald Trump killed the movement
The absurdist Monty Python star Terry Gillam, known for films like Brazil and 12 Monkeys, is all set to make a brand-new movie that satirized wokeness.
Fired federal officials are plotting to topple the government by convincing those who remain to be bad at their jobs
For years, there have been accusations and denials that organizations like USAID were involved in coordinating and funding color revolutions (political subversions mixed with popular uprisings) that toppled the governments of other nations.
Lightning Strike Causes Balk, Which Brings In Run During Minor League Game
The balk is one of the most confusing rules in baseball, so let’s go over a simplified version of this complicated rule real quick:
Everyone is freaked out by how quiet LA’s freeways are. Is it because ICE came to town?
The last several days, people have been in awe at the tranquility of Los Angeles’ roads.
Flying beach umbrellas are no joke, but I might laugh at this one
I shouldn’t laugh at this, but the caption says this person walked away unharmed so …
Biden’s doctor pleads the 5th when asked about the 25th
In another case of Washington D.C. being the most ridiculously corrupt place on the planet, Biden’s doctor just testified to Congress today.
Ronald McDonald statue stolen from Pennsylvania McDonald’s
They’re calling it a McNapping, and rightfully so.
The Giants hit a walkoff inside-the-park homer last night
You’ve seen a walkoff home run, but have you seen an inside-the-park walkoff home run?
Mattel Introduces New Diabetes Barbie
This is Not The Bee, not to be confused with The Babylon Bee.
The CEO of X just resigned
So this just happened:
Man sentenced for sharing Hillary Clinton memes acquitted by appellate court 🙌
There’s been a major update in free speech and it comes as a great relief to one of Trump’s original keyboard warriors from 2016.
The conservasphere is a bit confused about Trump’s new military aid to Ukraine
Looks like World War 3 is back on the menu, boys!
Former NHL player lays the smackdown on drunk guy at Canadian golf course
I’m going to show you this video but I will warn you that the drunk man who before the video starts was too obliterated to even tee up his ball gets exactly what’s coming to him and it’s pretty ugly.
Temple University is now offering a course in rapper Kendrick Lamar. For real.
At a time when people are questioning the usefulness of going to college, we get this:
Houthi pirates released a lame hype video of them hijacking this cargo ship
Yemen’s military, also commonly known as Houthi pirates, is continuing its reign of terror and religious fanatic retardation in the Red Sea.
Someone told Grok not to be politically correct and it immediately went “MechaHitler.” Let’s talk about what this means.
I think the lesson here is that large-language models either need to be neutered so they’re lame, or taught the Gospel so they don’t go full Hitler.
Check out the rumble strips on this UAE highway that play Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony
The E84 highway in Fujairah, United Arab Emirates, has transformed the rumble strip.
Marco? Imposter used AI-generated voice to pose as Secretary of State in calls to high-ranking officials
According to somewhat funny-yet-scary reports, someone utilized an AI-generated voice to place calls as Secretary of State Marco Rubio to multiple high-ranking officials.
FBI opens criminal investigation into former CIA Director Brennan and former FBI Director Comey 👀
I tuned out of the feeds for dinner and THIS happened 👇
Supreme Court rules Trump can continue mass firings of federal bureaucrats 👀
The Supreme Court says Trump can drain the Swamp.
Andrea Bocelli surprises parishioners in Capri, Italy, sings “Ave Maria” during mass
Okay, this is pretty cool:
Cities and states around the country are increasing their minimum wage to beat inflation
This summer states and municipalities around the country are once again increasing their minimum-wage requirements.
NY’s mayor tried to show us his morning routine but forgot to take the clock out of the background 😂
LOL.
CNN pollster: Elon’s new party might possibly garner 4% of the vote
I wish I understood Musk’s move here. Because I just don’t get it.
Trump shuts down reporter who asked Pam Bondi about Epstein, calls it a waste of time
This Epstein stuff is getting pretty spicy the past few days, and this next clip adds some fuel to the fire.