WORLD — Joe Biden has found a new purpose in his post-presidential years, having formed a new support group for battered and abused world leaders with French President Emmanuel Macron.
Babylon Bee
South African President Says Skulls Of Murdered White Farmers Just Halloween Decorations
CAPE TOWN — In response to public outcry accusing the country’s regime of engaging in genocide, South African President Cyril Ramaphosa assured people that skulls of murdered white farmers were just Halloween decorations.
Man Honors Fallen Soldiers By Purchasing Refrigerator At Incredible Discount
DALLAS, TX — Local man Jim Reese honored the fallen this Memorial Day by purchasing a Whirlpool refrigerator at an incredible 47% discount.
French President Macron Claims He Fell Down The Stairs Again
HANOI — Rumors about a potential domestic spat that may have turned ugly were put to rest today, as French President Emmanuel Macron assured reporters that he had just fallen down some stairs again.
Oh No: Phil Robertson Greeted In Heaven By 12 Million Angry Ducks
HEAVEN — Church elder and Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson came face to face with consequences this week after he was caught up to paradise, where 12 million angry ducks awaited him.
Veterans Brace For Onslaught Of ‘Happy Memorial Day’ Greetings
U.S. — As families across the country prepared to enjoy a day of food, fun, and frivolity, America’s military veterans braced themselves for the annual onslaught of "Happy Memorial Day" greetings.
Nicolas Cage Launches New Streaming Service Nicolas Cage+ That Has Nothing But Nicolas Cage Movies
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Nicolas Cage announced this week that he will be starting his own streaming service called Nicolas Cage+, which will exclusively stream the vast library of Nicolas Cage movies.
Local Couple Searching For Church Where No One Will Use The Phrase ‘Love On You’
PADUCAH, KY — Local couple Matt and Emily Childs continued their long-running search today for a church where no one will ever use the phrase "love on you."
10 Biggest Plot Holes In Star Wars
It’s no secret we at the Babylon Bee love Star Wars, but let’s be honest: there are several glaring plot holes. Here are the ten biggest:
Midwesterner Arrested For Squeezing Past Someone Without Saying ‘Ope!’
DULUTH, MN — Local midwestern man Dave Netters was arrested for squeezing past someone at a grocery store without saying the obligatory "Ope!"