The media told me Nick Shirley made it all up.
Not the Bee
Somalia’s U.N. Ambassador, Now President Of U.N. Security Council, Ran Ohio Healthcare Company Accused Of Fraud
Not the Bee has been summoned.
It’s barely 2026 and I think I’ve already found the headline of the year
Okay, technically it’s from right at the end of 2025. But still.
Florida legislators consider paper straw ban
California tried to ban plastic straws, so Florida – being the anti-California – is going to do the opposite.
Bills player goes viral for mixing up the two white DBs on the Philadelphia Eagles
The Bills (tragically) lost to the Eagles (in devastating fashion) on Sunday, but at least we got this little ounce of gold out of it.
San Francisco Mayor Signs Reparations Bill For Blacks, But Admits The City Is Too Broke To Pay For It
If you’ll excuse me, I have to go buy black face paint and move my family to San Francisco.
More than 70,000 libs sign petition to have Nikki Minaj deported to Trinidad
I thought deportations were evil and that everyone who supported them was a literal Nazi!
German woman “stoned” by Muslim migrants during NYE livestream in Cologne
I don’t think she had a very happy New Year’s Eve.
WATCH: This comedian’s answer to CNN’s NYE question is an instant classic 🤣
If you can guess this comedian’s answer to "Where’s the best place to meet a man in 2026," I’ll assume you’ve been paying very good attention to our culture over the past few years.
NYC mayor names Al-Qaeda defense lawyer honored by designated terror group as chief counsel
Zohran Mamdani, who was sworn in Thursday morning (on a Quran) as New York’s mayor, named Al Qaeda’s defense as his chief counsel.