This is Beyond Parody, so I’m gonna quote.
Not the Bee
California Governor Celebrates Biden’s “Physical Stamina” With Pic From Outing Where Biden Fell Off His Bike
Gavin Newsom is making my job easy today:
WATCH: Russian hockey league has attack dog drop the puck (it went exactly like you think)
The KHL is the premier hockey league in Russia — one of the top leagues in the world. So when they brought an attack dog out to drop the puck it was only right that the captains kept their "good hands" at a distance.
Homeschooling hits record numbers across America
Reports from the 2024-2025 school year show that the U.S.’s largest growing trend in education is homeschooling.
WATCH: Comer mocks Jasmine Crockett, reads email of Hakeem Jeffries’ team begging Epstein to support campaign
This is pure House-floor cinema right here:
Police raid home of Michigan jihadi who is currently in jail for trying to carry out “God’s wrath” on the Jews
On Halloween, the FBI arrested a ring of Islamic jihadis from Dearborn, Michigan, (lovingly referred to as "Dearbornstan" by locals), who planned to carry out a mass shooting attack on local gay bars.
Ricky Gervais Thinks He’s Finally Created Billboard That Won’t Offend London Authorities
This couldn’t possibly offend anyone, right?
Median age for homebuyers, including first-time buyers, increases to jaw-dropping 59 years old
I dunno who needs to hear this, but in order for a civilization to continue to exist, married couples need to be able to buy homes in their early 20s.
WATCH: Fang Fang’s Boyfriend Announces He Is Running For Governor Of California
"I love California. It’s the greatest country in the world."One of the cheesiest lines ever uttered by Fang Fang’s boyfriend.
Rapper gets 14 years for role in foreign-influence campaign that funneled millions to Obama campaign
Ready or not, here I come, you can’t hide — I’m gonna find you.