This is amazing.
Not the Bee
White House Press Sec. says it’s official policy not to reply to emails from reporters with pronouns in the signature
White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt has made it known that her official policy is to not interact with unserious people, and I absolutely love it!
Believe it or not, a new study shows that dating apps are really, really bad for you
BREAKING: Turns out dating apps are terrible for you. I’ll give you a moment now to process this shocking news 👇
Tim Walz just gave a speech to veterans and it DID NOT GO WELL
There are not enough tampons in the men’s room at the Minnesota Capitol to dry up all the tears that Tim Walz must have shed after this exchange with veterans on Tuesday while he spoke to the American Legion.
Black teen accused of mass shooting gets reduced bail after lawyer says “young African American males” don’t get the same “presumption of innocence” as whites
Liberals are correct: There is a two-tier justice system.
Trump signed an executive order to make shower heads great again and Jerry Seinfeld must be proud
Trump has signed an executive order reversing the Biden Administration’s regulation requiring everyone to use crappy shower heads that have no water pressure.
“Defiling the car of a fellow liberal”: California leftist complains after Tesla gets keyed
This is kind of the perfect video right here to sum up all this Tesla vandalism garbage. Listen to what this California leftist had to say after finding his electric car he purchased six years ago because he was concerned about climate change vandalized.
Check it out: The Trump admin is poised to rescue Americans from Biden’s stupid gun infringements 🇺🇸
It looks like the 2nd Amendment could be back on the menu, boys!
Meta whistleblower tells Congress that social giant gives your data to China, repeatedly undermined U.S. national security
This is big if true.
This woman called out CNN’s Anderson Cooper for “misgendering” her and Bernie Sanders’ reaction was priceless
This is just a reminder, if you needed one, that Bernie Sanders is 83 years old and — no matter what he says on the campaign trail — is largely clueless about the modern Gen Z insanity that has taken over the Democratic party:
Congressional Committee Votes To Halt Funding To Taliban
Nope, this isn’t The Babylon Bee. A committee in the U.S. House of Representatives actually held a vote on a bill that would stop funding to the Taliban … because, well, we’re currently funding the Taliban.
Ilegal alien arrested after pointing laser at Border Patrol chopper
They really aren’t sending their best and brightest, are they?
Florida man gets run over by Jeep while napping on the beach
Average Jeep driver detected…
This lady just figured out how she’s winning every argument with her husband 💀
Instagram influencer Lilianna Wilde put a camera above her at her husband’s height, so she could see the world from his perspective, and she in the process she figured out the secret to winning marital fights.
KFC Introduces New Fried Chicken-Flavored Toothpaste
You ever wonder how Colonel Sanders got those pearly whites?
Georgie police arrested this guy for a $20,000 shoplifting spree and you aren’t going to believe his name
A man was arrested for allegedly shoplifting at multiple Walmarts with a pretty clever self-checkout scheme.
Woke female “pastor” claims Jesus was autistic
On this week’s episode of "Woke Church Doing Woke Things," a female "pastor" bravely and stunningly announced that Jesus was autistic.
Cornell and Northwestern just found out
You know what I call taking $1 billion away from Cornell because they’re woke as crap?
Hawaii man accused of trying to push his wife off a cliff and poison her has either the best or worst lawyer ever depending on how you look at it
This is a wild story:
Trump orders 90-day pause on tariffs EXCEPT for China, which just had tariffs raised to 125% 👀
He’s going straight at Xi.
Lead writer for “Power Rangers” apologizes 30 years later for making the Black Ranger black and the Yellow Ranger Asian 😂
You can tell just how much we’re advancing as a society by the fact that we’ve got people bringing up their "racist" past which, at the time, no one in the world thought was racist.
Not satire: Missouri woman charged with trading one of her 200 foster kids for monkey
Missouri woman Brenda Ruth Deutsch has been collecting exotic animals for over a decade. And it sounds like she’s been collecting foster kids too; she’s run roughly 200 kids through her home over that time.
Dropped Donut Results In Nasty 3-Car Accident
Any driving instructor will tell you that dangerous traffic accidents can have a wide range of causes, but one wreck last week in Ohio may be the first-ever documented instance of a traffic accident caused by a donut.
Cadbury has unveiled the world’s largest Creme Egg and I think I might vomit
Before I offend, does anyone even like Cadbury Eggs?
IRS chief quits her job after Treasury signs deal with Homeland Security to help track down illegal aliens
Oh yeah, THAT’LL show the Bad Orange Man!
Videos: Kentucky is underwater and so is Buffalo Trace Distillery
Kentucky’s capital city, Frankfort, sits on the Kentucky river, and over the past week the area experienced historic flooding due to a severe storm system that ran through the area.
People are talking about Kristi Noem’s tactical photo-op (wait till you see how she holds a blaster)
There was an ICE raid in Arizona, and Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem took the opportunity to put her makeup on and get decked out in full kit for the occasion.
High school baseball player facing 15 counts of battery after peeing in opposing team’s water jug
I’ve seen some baseball rivalries in my day, but I’ve never seen one go as far as this — at least as far as the charges are concerned…
Sen. John Kennedy says AOC is the next leader of the Dems and his strategy for her is a Babylon Bee joke
Okay, this is some great content right here. Watch Senator John Kennedy explain his strategy for dealing with the future of the Democratic Party, AOC:
Y’all need to listen to Kevin O’Leary explain Trump’s 104% tariff on China, like, right now
Guys, I know we are all freaking out about the tariffs and the stock market, and I totally understand the panic. Especially after a 104% tariff increase.