WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump announced the immediate deportation of the infamous "Phillies Karen," a woman who complained until a baseball was taken from a child, to an El Salvador Prison.
Babylon Bee
Navy Airdrops Public Defender Onto Drug Boat To Give Cartel Members Due Process
GULF OF MEXICO — In a compromise intended to silence critics of the Trump Administration’s aggressive stance against drug traffickers, the U.S. Navy airdropped a public defender onto a drug boat to give cartel members due process.
Parents Meeting With Teacher Shocked To Learn How Responsible, Respectful, And Kind Their Child Is While At School
RACINE, WI — Jim and Linda Stevenson were in for a shock at this year’s teachers’ meetings when their son’s third-grade teacher informed them of how responsible, respectful, and kind their child was while at school.
David Condemned For Executing Goliath Without Due Process
VALLEY OF ELAH — What should have been a joyous celebration following a decisive victory over the Philistines turned to controversy, as the young shepherd boy David was condemned for executing the giant Goliath of Gath without due process.
NFL Fires Officiating Crew That Allowed Chiefs To Lose Season Opener
NEW YORK, NY — A major shakeup sent shockwaves across the NFL following the first week of the new season, as the league fired the officiating crew that allowed the Kansas City Chiefs to lose their season opener.
Democrats Condemn Stabbing Victims For Inflating Crime Numbers
CHARLOTTE, NC — Democratic lawmakers responded to the fatal stabbing of a Ukrainian refugee aboard the Charlotte light rail be condemning all stabbing victims for inflating crime numbers.
WNBA Fans Out For Season
U.S. — All WNBA fans have officially been ruled out for the remainder of the 2025 season.
On Heels Of Second Bad Job Report, Trump Fires Math
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In the wake of the second consecutive poor monthly jobs report, President Trump has announced that he will be firing math and numbers.
Shocking: Philly Sports Fan Acts Like Philly Sports Fan
PHILADELPHIA, PA — The nation is in shock today after a widely-circulated video showing a Philly sports fan acting like a Philly sports fan.
Michigan Police Help Muslim Immigrants Feel Welcome By Wearing Suicide Vests
DEARBORN HEIGHTS, MI — In what experts described as a major step toward a greater level of inclusivity for law enforcement agencies across the country, one Michigan police department announced that it would help Muslim immigrants feel more welcome by having its officers wear suicide vests while out…