NINTH CIRCLE OF HELL — Satan announced Wednesday that all its appliances going forward will be controlled by the Apple TV Remote.
Babylon Bee
Too Far? Trump Threatens To Nuke Used Car Dealership Unless It Comes Down Another $500 On 2017 Chevy Malibu
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The political world was set on edge once again on Wednesday, with experts urging everyone to prepare for the worst as President Donald Trump threatened to nuke a local used car dealership unless it agreed to come down another $500 on a 2017 Chevy Malibu.
World In Shock As Trump Takes Seemingly Extreme Position To Negotiate Best Possible Deal
WORLD — People across the globe were left in utter shock as President Trump staked out a seemingly extreme position in order to negotiate the best possible deal.
Psych! Trump Drops Bombs That Just Shoot Out Little Flags That Say ‘POW!’
TEHRAN — A cackling President Donald Trump completely psyched out the Iranian regime by threatening nuclear war and then dropping bombs that only shoot out little flags that say "POW!".
Newly Engaged Couple Sets Up Wedding Registry At Chevron Station
VAN NUYS, CA — Newly engaged couple Barrett Brown and Melissa McClaren excitedlywedding registry at a local Chevron station, sources close to the happy couple said.
The New Season Of ‘Californians Move To Texas’ Is Finally Here
Steve and Timpani moved from California to Texas in the hit series Californians Move To Texas. There were a few cultural differences they weren’t prepared for in going from California wokeness to Texas freedom. Now their story continues…
Tragic: Blind Child Received Sight Back But First Thing He Saw Was Boston Red Sox Game
BOSTON, MA — In a heartbreaking turn of events, the first thing seen by a blind child who had his sight restored was a Boston Red Sox game.
8 Shocking Things Artemis II Found On The Far Side Of The Moon
The dark side of the moon has long been the subject of myth and speculation. What mysteries lie beyond the known lunar surface in that dark realm beyond our telescopes?
As Astronauts Reach the Farthest Any Human Has Been From Earth, Mission Specialist Pretty Sure He Left the Oven On
SPACE — On Monday, the Artemis II crew set a new record for the farthest away from Earth humans have ever gone. And as mission specialist Jeremy Hansen stared at the far side of the moon, with the Earth a distant crescent, one thought crossed his mind: He…
Trump Tells Iran This Is Last Warning Before He Sends Bruce Springsteen To Perform There
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump put Iran on notice, stating that this was his final warning before he would send Bruce Springsteen to perform there.