VATICAN CITY — In an escalation of the public feud between the U.S. president and the supreme pontiff of the Catholic Church, Pope Leo XIV shared an AI-generated photo of himself dressed as Donald Trump.
Babylon Bee
Trump Predicts His Approval Ratings Will Be Resurrected In Three Days
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump told reporters on Monday that he wasn’t concerned about his recent dip in popularity or the controversy that resulted from his posting of a social media image depicting himself as Christ, boldly predicting that his approval ratings would be resurrected in three days.
Swalwell Insists He Didn’t Assault Any Of Those Chinese Spies He Slept With
SACRAMENTO, CA — After being accused of multiple counts of sexual assault, Representative Eric Swalwell issued a fierce denial today, insisting that he never assaulted any of the Chinese spies he slept with.
Baseball Manager Pins Loss On Fan Who Failed To Put His Lucky Socks On Today
KANSAS CITY, MO — Kansas City Royals manager Matt Quatraro pinned the team’s loss on local fan Jim Greller, who failed to put on his lucky socks today.
Experts Rule Game Not A Sport If You Can Smoke An Entire Pack Of Cigs While Playing
U.S. — A group of sports science experts have ruled that a game cannot be classified as a sport if it is possible to smoke an entire pack of cigarettes while playing.
Catholics Find Common Ground With Protestants In Ignoring What The Pope Says Most Of The Time
WORLD — In a historic ecumenical breakthrough, devout Roman Catholics finally found common ground with Protestants in ignoring what the pope says most of the time.
Kamala Harris ‘Thinking About’ Losing Again In 2028
LOS ANGELES, CA — Former Vice President Kamala Harris revealed on Friday that she is seriously thinking about losing again in 2028.
Speakeasy Heavily Advertised
CHARLOTTE, NC — Advertisements popped up all across the city this week for a local speakeasy, The Hush Room, modeled as a completely discreet and hidden Prohibition-era bar that no one knows about.
Lucky Hockey Fan Catches Foul Tooth
ANAHEIM, CA — During Thursday night’s hockey game between the San Jose Sharks and Anaheim Ducks, one lucky fan reportedly created a lifelong memory when he caught a foul tooth.
In Dire Need Of Toilet, Artemis Lands At Buc-ee’s
LAKE JACKSON, TX — After nearly nine days without a fully functioning toilet, the crew of NASA’s Artemis II mission changed course from splashing down off the coast of California and instead headed straight for a Buc-ee’s.