Babylon Bee
Californians Move To Texas Episode 2 Is Out Now!
Fresh brisket is on the board!
The Somali Community Of Minnesota Would Like To Remind America That Today Is Tax Day
ST. PAUL, MN — Tax Day is here and Minnesota’s vibrant Somali community would like to remind everyone that the deadline to file is midnight.
Couple Worries Having A Baby Could Cut Into Time They Spend Sitting On The Couch Staring At Their Phones
AUSTIN, TX — Local couple Tyler and Madison Hansen expressed grave concerns this week that having a baby might significantly disrupt the many hours a day they currently spend sitting three inches apart on the sofa staring at their respective iPhones in total silence.
‘HI BARACK!’ Yells Biden As Car Passes House With A Lawn Jockey
WILMINGTON, DE — Secret Service agents reportedly looked at each other and shook their heads on Wednesday, as former President Joe Biden committed an unfortunate act of mistaken identity while his motorcade passed a house with a lawn jockey.
Trump Complains He’s Being Crucified For Comparing Himself To Jesus
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Just days removed from a controversy that arose after he shared an image on social media that drew allegations of blasphemy, President Donald Trump complained that he was being crucified for comparing himself to Jesus.
Trump Officially Renames Strait Of Hormuz The ‘Donald J. Trump Strait Of America’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As part of ongoing ceasefire negotiations with Iran to bring the weeks-long conflict to a close, U.S. President Donald Trump announced that the Strait of Hormuz had been officially renamed as the "Donald J. Trump Straight of America."
Online Battle Erupts Between Holiest Man In The World And Pope Leo XIV
U.S — A battle between the holiest man in the world and Pope Leo XIV broke out online this week, with many claiming the Pope crossed a line when he criticized the most righteous man ever to walk on earth.
After Devastating Sexual Assault Allegations, Swalwell Now Leading Democratic Presidential Candidate
U.S. — After a fifth woman came forward yesterday to accuse former Representative Eric Swalwell of sexual assault, Swalwell has hurtled into the lead of Democratic presidential candidates.
With Swalwell Resigning, Just 534 Perverts Left In Congress
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the sudden resignation of California Representative Eric Swalwell over sexual assault charges, analysts speculated that there were now just 534 perverts remaining in the United States Congress.