HOLLYWOOD, CA — Effective immediately, late night will have a new face, as news broke Thursday morning that Vice President JD Vance had agreed to take over as the host of ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Babylon Bee
The Babylon Bee Is Outraged To Learn Jimmy Kimmel Was Canceled Just For Being MAGA Republican
We are disgusted to learn that Disney has pulled Jimmy Kimmel’s show off the air simply for him being a MAGA Republican.No one has stood for MAGA more than Jimmy Kimmel. Raised by a Republican family in a conservative area, Kimmel embodies everything MAGA stands for. "We are…
‘This Is A Both Sides Issue,’ Says Side That Assassinated Charlie Kirk, Shot President Trump, Tried To Assassinate Kavanaugh, Tried To Assassinate Trump Again, Murdered Schoolkids In Minnesota, Shot Steve Scalise, Firebombed Governor Shapiro (cont’d)
(cont’d) murdered schoolchildren in Nashville, burned an elderly Jewish woman to death in Colorado, murdered a couple at the Jewish embassy in D.C., seized campus buildings and held janitors hostage, assaulted students on campus who appeared Jewish, ambushed ICE officers in Dallas and shot an officer in the…
Idiot Waves You Through Stop Sign When It’s Clearly His Turn
BRANSON, MO — Local man and confirmed idiot Mark Turner waved a driver through the four-way intersection this morning even though it was clearly Turner’s turn to go.
Matt Gutman Tears Up While Citing ‘Personal, Touching’ Mein Kampf
LOS ANGELES — Matt Gutman, Chief National Correspondent for ABC News, became emotional Wednesday when, during a news segment, he teared up while calling Hitler’s Mein Kampf both personal and touching.
Don’t Call Your Wife Beautiful. Use These Less Sexist Compliments Instead
Listen up, men. It’s time to put the ways of misogyny behind you and stop calling your wife outdated, sexist terms like "beautiful." Instead, try any of these less chauvinistic compliments:
7 Subtle Clues The Shooter May Have Been A Leftist
As the investigation into Charlie Kirk’s assassin continues, debate has raged in the public square about which ideology the killer followed.
Southern Baptist Convention Lifts Ban On Sex After Marriage
NASHVILLE, TN — In a stunning change to the bylaws that have served as the bedrock for the denomination for decades, the Southern Baptist Convention voted to lift its longstanding ban on sex after marriage.
WaPo Journalist Wins Pulitzer Prize For ‘Best Fabricated Quote’
NEW YORK — Former Washington Post journalist Karen Attiah made history Wednesday as the first ever recipient of the Pulitzer Prize for "Best Fabricated Quote."
Dearborn Changes Name To ‘Dearborn Islamic Caliphate Of Michigan’
DEARBORN, MI — Mayor Abdullah Hamoud of Dearborn has officially declared that the city will be renamed "Dearborn Islamic Caliphate of Michigan."