FEDERAL WAY, WA — Local Gen Zer Krista Evans reportedly selected her fanciest pajamas for a recent job interview at a local tech company.
Babylon Bee
Mamdani Looking Into Whether He Can Tax Residents Of Other Cities
NEW YORK, NY — As part of his ongoing plan to implement his sweeping socialist policies throughout New York City, Mayor Zohran Mamdani was reportedly looking into whether he can tax residents of other cities as well.
Can You Spot Everything Racist In Trump’s New Triumphal Arch?
The White House announced the construction of a 250-ft "United States Triumphal Arch" in honor of the nation’s 250th anniversary, which sounds good until you realize just how racist it is.
‘Do Not Fear Mass Islamic Migration,’ Says Pope Behind 40-Foot Walls Of Vatican City Fortress
VATICAN CITY — Seated inside a fortress with 40-foot walls and surrounded by Swiss guards, Pope Leo XIV cautioned the rest of the world’s population not to fear mass Islamic migration.
SCOTUS Rules Death Penalty Is OK For People Who Post ‘BREAKING’ And A Siren Emoji Before Every Tweet
U.S. — In a landmark decision sure to send shockwaves across the social media influencing sphere, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that the death penalty is OK for people who post "BREAKING" and a red siren emoji before every tweet.
Older Woman Gets Botox So She Can Look Like An Older Woman Who Got Botox
REDWOOD CITY, CA — Older woman Laura Middleson reportedly went to her local wellness spa and had the clinician there inject her with Botox so she could look like an older woman who had been injected with Botox.
Trump Proposes Triumphal Double Golden Arch In Washington, D.C.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump unveiled plans on Thursday for the construction of a massive Triumphal Double Golden Arch in the nation’s capital.
‘It’s Not My Job To Be Funny,’ Says Comedian
LOS ANGELES, CA — A comedian who is paid millions of dollars annually to make people laugh appeared on a podcast to explain to the American people that it is not his job to be funny.
Atheist Missionary Wonders If You Have A Few Minutes To Talk About Nothing
PORTLAND, OR — Local residents were greeted Saturday morning by an atheist missionary who politely asked if they had a few moments to talk about nothing.
Mamdani Says City-Run Supermarket Will Be Ready In 3 Years But Recommends Getting In Line for Bread Now
NEW YORK, NY — Mayor Zohran Mamdani announced that the city was going to spend a whopping $30 million on his city-run supermarket, with the project expected to take three years to build.