INDIANAPOLIS, IN — What had been hailed as a potentially Hall of Fame career was cut short at the start of just its second season, as WNBA superstar Caitlin Clark was indicted for murder after fouling Angel Reese.
Babylon Bee
Experts Say AI Unlikely To Replace Government Bureaucrats As It’s Not Soulless Enough
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a welcome bit of good news for government bureaucrats hiding out from DOGE, experts have determined that AI is unlikely to replace their jobs any time soon, as it’s not soulless enough.
Alarming: Thanks To Public School Funding Cuts, This Five-Year-Old Student Doesn’t Know All The Variant Sexual Lusts Adults Can Have
ANAHEIM, CA — The effects of cutbacks to public school funding for teaching children about the myriad types of gross deviants there are in the world began to be felt this week, as one five-year-old student was found not to know all the variant sexual lusts adults can…
Karine Jean-Pierre Insists Joe Biden Is Cancer-Free
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following the shocking announcement that he was suffering from stage 4 prostate cancer, former White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre insisted that Joe Biden was 100% cancer-free.
Far-Right Christian Extremists Pray For Joe Biden
DOVER, DE — In a horrifying display of what could be growing Christian Nationalism, a group of far-right Christian extremists gathered earlier today to pray for former President Joseph Biden.
Guy Who Invented Dip & Squeeze Ketchup Packaging Awarded Nobel Peace Prize
OSLO — The world-altering genius of one man was unanimously recognized on the global stage this week with the highest and most prestigious honor possible, as the guy who invented "Dip & Squeeze" ketchup packaging was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.
Family Shopping For A New Church After Finding Out Their Current Church Has Sinners In It
SAN FERNANDO, CA — The Gomez family is back on the market for a new church after learning their home church was full of sinners.
New Evidence Suggests Noah’s Wife Was Steering The Ark When It Hit Mount Ararat
WORLD — Leading theologians have uncovered new evidence that when Noah’s ark hit Mount Ararat, his wife was likely steering.
9 Lesser-Known Healing Miracles In the Bible
The Bible is full of fantastic accounts of healing miracles where people were instantly cured of leprosy, blindness, and even being lame. But there are even more Biblical healings you may not have heard of.
New Subscription Service Sends Dads A New Pair Of Cargo Pants Every 9 Years
U.S. — A hot new clothing subscription service continued to build buzz, gaining popularity among men across the country, claiming to service all of men’s clothing needs by sending them a single pair of new cargo pants every 9 years.