U.S. — Members of the judiciary were revealed to be sporting a new look, as President Donald Trump issued new striped robes to be worn by federal judges.
Babylon Bee
Joe Biden Arrested For Harboring 11 Million Illegal Aliens
REHOBOTH BEACH, DE — Former President Joe Biden was placed under arrest today for harboring just over eleven million illegal immigrants.
Behold! New Babylon Bee Merch Has Arrived
Glad tidings! Your favorite fake news outlet just loaded up its store with BRAND NEW merch, and it’s all guaranteed 100% tariff free.
Trump Stuns Pope Funeral Attendees With Breathtaking Rendition Of ‘Ave Maria’
VATICAN CITY — In a stirring tribute to Pope Francis, President Donald Trump took to the microphone during the pontiff’s funeral services and stunned attendees by singing a gorgeous, captivating a capella rendition of "Ave Maria".
Shedeur Sanders Drafted By McDonald’s In 3rd Round
GREEN BAY, WI — After free falling out of the first two rounds, Shedeur Sanders finally heard his name called as McDonald’s drafted him in the third round as a fry cook.
FBI Agents Discover 17 More Illegals Hiding In Judge Dugan’s Robe
MILWAUKEE, WI — While being questioned by authorities following her arrest, FBI agents discovered 17 more illegal aliens hiding in the back of County Circuit Judge Hannah Dugan’s robes.
Man Saves Hundreds Of Thousands In Student Loans By Just Learning How To Hate Jews On The Internet
MILLVILLE, NJ — According to sources, college dropout Jack Doulton saved hundreds of thousands of dollars on student loans by simply learning how to hate Jews online for free.
‘Christianity Today’ Announces It Has Converted To Islam
CAROL STREAM, IL — Long-running religious magazine and online publication Christianity Today announced on Friday that it had converted to Islam.
Federal Judge Travels Back In Time To Overturn Trump’s Birth
WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to newly released court documents, a federal judge invented time travel and transported himself to New York in 1946 so he could overturn President Donald Trump’s birth.
Player Drafted By Cleveland Browns Decides To Just Retire Instead
GREEN BAY, WI — A promising young athlete who was drafted by the Cleveland Browns has reportedly decided to just retire.