So it was the first round of the NFL Draft in Green Bay last night and Packers great Clay Matthews got on the mic to open up the show. He claimed to have a message from the president, and this is what it read:
Not the Bee
Police say Mr. Mohamed here was planning to kill a bunch of people within the next day when he got caught shoplifting from a Minnesota gun shop
This was quite the fortunate turn of events in 24-year-old Mohamed Adan Mohamed’s suspected plan to carry out a mass shooting (I’ll let you figure out why a guy named Mohamed Adan Mohamed would want to shoot people).
So do we have a nation anymore or nah? Check out this activist judge (you may remember she sent a Christian grandma to jail last year)
If everyone on the planet can vote in America’s elections, there is no such thing as America anymore.
Ever seen a secret Chinese nuclear sub? Come see what Google Earth captured on satellite
Normally if you want to see Chinese military secrets, you’re given a pretty definitive answer:
This Illinois pastor made an Easter sermon about Jesus being undocumented … just like Kilmar Abrego Garcia
This is a Methodist pastor, so I’m really not surprised by his antics here. But dude really came in with an Easter sermon comparing Jesus to illegal immigrant and alleged MS-13 gang member, Kilmar Abrego Garcia.
The Trump Store really just dropped this new merch 🤣
I simply cannot tell whether this is trolling or actually serious, but you can now purchase this hat at the Trump Store.
The LA Kings had a bunch of Korean grannies play “The Star-Spangled Banner” on harmonica and I’m not sure how to feel about it
The Koreatown Senior & Community Center’s The Harmonica Class was "back by popular demand" to perform the national anthem for the Los Angeles Kings last night, but I think I need an explanation as to what "popular demand" means, cuz, take a listen:
The Guardian warns women about influencers who want to make them “thin, fertile, and Republican” 😂
THIN, FERTILE, AND REPUBLICAN. OH NO!
Illinois governor threatens to boycott El Salvador over Kilmar Abrego Garcia (seriously)
JB Pritzker is not a serious person.
“Woman of color” upset by Englishman waving English flag because it’s “outdated” and “not inclusive”
Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Clown World: The British Isles.