HOUSTON, TX — Major League Baseball history was made today, as longtime umpire CB Bucknor called the entire game from behind home plate without once looking up from his newspaper.
Babylon Bee
Trump Sneaks Onto Supreme Court Bench Cleverly Disguised As Justice Sotomayor
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the Supreme Court hearing arguments today over birthright citizenship, President Trump cleverly snuck his way onto the bench by disguising himself as Justice Sonia Sotomayor.
NASA Plays Incredible April Fools’ Joke Of Once Again Pretending To Go To The Moon
MERRITT ISLAND, FL — In one of the biggest April Fools’ jokes in decades, NASA is pretending once again to actually be going to the moon.
KBJ: ‘How Can A Law Be Unconstitutional If I Like It?’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As the United States Supreme Court issued a decisive ruling on a controversial case in Colorado regarding conversion therapy for minors, Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson raised a pertinent question about the constitutionality of the law.
Brie Larson’s Career Taking Off After Shutting Up
HOLLYWOOD, CA — The movie industry saw the revival of one of its brightest young stars, as actress Brie Larson’s career showed signs of taking off to new heights after she started shutting up.
ZipRecruiter Ad Interrupted By Brief Word From Podcast
LOS ANGELES, CA — Local woman Vanessa Miller reported feeling annoyed Thursday morning when her favorite weekly ZipRecruiter ad was interrupted by three minutes of podcast content.
Trump Begins Negotiating With Iranian Leadership Via Ouija Board
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As hostilities in the Middle East extended into a second month, White House sources confirmed that President Donald Trump had officially begun negotiating with Iranian leadership via Ouija board.
Trump Presidential Library To Feature Solemn ‘Reflecting Pool’ Of Liberal Tears
MIAMI, FL — As depicted in an exciting presentation of computer renderings of its breathtaking design, the proposed Donald J. Trump Presidential Library is set to feature a solemn "reflecting pool" filled with liberal tears.
Tiger Woods Awarded Honorary California CDL
FORT LAUDERDALE, FL — What had been a difficult week for Tiger Woods took a positive turn on Tuesday, as the pro golf legend was awarded an honorary California commercial driver’s license.
‘AI Will Kill Us All! We’re Doomed! DOOMED!’ Says AI CEO In Latest Pitch To Investors
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Anthropic, the maker of the next-generation AI assistant Claude, made news for giving increasingly aggressive pitches to investors ahead of a potential public offering. Founder and CEO Bob Anthropic recently gave his most emphatic speech to investors yet.