The world watched in horror yesterday as the friendship between President Donald Trump and Elon Musk was torn asunder, but it doesn’t have to be this way. There is still hope that the two titans can make amends.
Babylon Bee
Depressed Trump Asks Melania If She’d Put On A Baseball Cap And Say Space Stuff To Cheer Him Up
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following a major online dust-up between himself and Elon Musk this week, a depressed President Donald Trump asked First Lady Melania if she’d consider putting on a black MAGA baseball cap and "saying some space stuff to me."
Man Really Regretting His New Trump-Musk Back Tattoo
ORLANDO, FL — Sources close to one local man said that the lifelong Republican was "really regretting" the Trump-Musk back tattoo he got in January.
Virus Escapes Lab In Japan Causing Millions Of Americans To Call In Sick To Work
KYOTO, JAPAN — According to sources, a secret lab located in the Kyoto Prefecture of Japan reportedly leaked a devastating virus that has caused millions of people around the world to call in sick to work.
Trump Torches Tesla Dealership
ARLINGTON, VA — Firefighters were called to the scene after several eyewitnesses claimed to have seen President Trump setting fire to a local Tesla dealership this morning.
Unearthed Ancient Sculpture Gives Insight Into How Much Ancient People Sucked At Art
MOSUL — A 5,600-year-old sculpture recently uncovered by archeologists has given art critics and researchers great insight into how much ancient people sucked at art.
Willem Dafoe Announces Exciting New Role Where He Will Play Someone Weird
HOLLYWOOD, CA — According to multiple sources, screen actor Willem Dafoe has signed a deal with Paramount Pictures to take on an exciting new role where he plays someone weird.
10 Biggest And Beautifulest Parts Of Trump’s Bill
President Trump’s "Big, Beautiful Bill" is all the talk these days, but few people actually know what’s really in it.
Judge Determines Trump Will Get The Nation On Weekdays, While Musk Gets Every Other Weekend And Holidays
U.S. — As the American people sat back helplessly and watched a once-close relationship fall apart, a judge issued a ruling that President Donald Trump would get the nation on weekdays, while Elon Musk would get it every other weekend and on holidays.
Due To Tariffs On Steel, All New Cars To Be Made With Wood Paneling
DETROIT, MI — Following President Donald Trump’s recent increases in tariffs on imported steel, auto manufacturers across the country announced plans to make all new cars with wood paneling.