WHITTIER, CA — Members of a local church were caught off guard last weekend after they arrived for Sunday morning service to find a mob of area youth pastors had shown up wearing "Pay Us What You Owe Us" t-shirts.
Babylon Bee
To Secure Funding For Stadium, Washington Commanders Change Name To ‘Washington Bloodthirsty Injuns’
LANDOVER, MD — As part of a deal for the construction of a new stadium, the Washington Commanders, formerly the Washington Redskins, have agreed to change their name to the Washington Bloodthirsty Injuns.
Hunter Biden Warns That Without Illegal Immigrants, The Price Of Prostitutes And Crack Will Skyrocket
WILMINGTON, DE — As part of a wide-ranging sit-down interview released on YouTube, Hunter Biden warned Americans that, without illegal immigrants, the price of crack cocaine and prostitutes would skyrocket.
Masters University Hall Of Presidents Unveils Animatronic John MacArthur
SANTA CLARITA, CA — Imagineers at Master’s University put the final touches on a lifelike animatronic of Dr. John MacArthur and installed him in the university’s Hall of Presidents early Monday, to much fanfare.
Minneapolis Mayoral Candidate Introduces Plan To Revitalize The City By Hijacking Other Cities And Plundering Their Treasure
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — As part of his revolutionary campaign platform, Minneapolis mayoral candidate Omar Fateh introduced a plan to revitalize the city by hijacking other cities and plundering their treasure.
Obama Argues He Can’t Be Charged With Treason Since He Wasn’t Born In America
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a blow to hopes from conservatives that the former president would face severe consequences for allegedly overseeing an attempt to deligitimize the Trump presidency, Barack Obama argued that he can’t be charged with treason since he wasn’t born in America and isn’t a legitimate…
Elmo Decries Defunding Of PBS As A Jewish Conspiracy
U.S. — Longtime Sesame Street resident Elmo decried the federal government’s defunding of PBS as an "obvious Jewish conpsiracy."
FASCISM ALERT: Show That Wasn’t Making Money Canceled
NEW YORK CITY — In a stunning example of rampant fascism, a TV network cancelled a show that wasn’t making any money and had terrible ratings.
Media Unconcerned With Circulation To Biden’s Brain Deeply Concerned About Circulation To Trump’s Ankles
U.S. — The news media which remained unconcerned for four years by the lack of circulation to former President Biden’s brain have expressed deep concern over the circulation in President Trump’s ankles.
Ten Ideas For Better Shows To Replace ‘The Late Show’ With Stephen Colbert
After announcing the cancellation of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, CBS is hard at work searching for a better program to replace their old flagship. Here are ten great ideas that would be way better than The Late Show: