ST. GEORGE, UT — Local dad Sam Weaver struck a fatal blow against his teenage daughter’s obsession with TikTok on Thursday by joining it himself, therefore rendering it uncool.
Babylon Bee
Cruel: Trump Admin Strips Funding From Gas-Station Daycare Center With 20,000 Students
SHOREVIEW, MN — In the latest in a long line of cruel, heartless atrocities it has committed, the Trump administration has just stripped federal funding from a gas station daycare center with 20,000 students.
Iran Says They Will Rain Death And Destruction On The U.S. If They Are Bombed Two More Times
GENEVA — Amid ongoing negotiations over Tehran’s nuclear program, Iran’s Supreme Leader unequivocally informed the United States that they would rain death and destruction down upon them if they were bombed two more times. Maybe three.
Bold Right-Wing Truth-Teller Very Carefully Chooses Words So As Not To Speak Truths That Would Anger Own Audience
U.S. — Shockwaves were felt among the conservative influencer sphere this week, as one bold, right-wing truth-teller very carefully chose his words so as not to speak truths that could potentially anger his own audience.
10 Amazing Perks Of Becoming A Protestant
Catholics (and, to a lesser extent, Orthodox) like to sneer at Protestants, but being a Protestant comes with some amazing perks. For example, did you know you’re basically your own pope? You can issue papal bulls about what to watch on TV or where to order food. It’s…
Politician On Epstein List Grilled By Other Politicians On Epstein List
CHAPPAQUA, NY — A lifelong politician whose name appeared on the Epstein list was questioned today by other politicians whose names were on the Epstein list, sources confirmed.
8 Most Horribly Divisive Statements From Trump’s State Of The Union
With last night’s polarizing State of the Union, President Trump continued fracturing the country with pointed rhetoric designed only to widen the chasm between the country’s left and right. From the many awful things Trump said, here are the eight most divisive statement’s from last night’s speech:
Trump Forced To Deploy ICE During State Of The Union To Pepper Spray Unruly Democrats
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a historic first, a sitting U.S. president was forced to subdue members of Congress with a squad of ICE agents, who pepper sprayed unruly Democrats as President Trump delivered his State of the Union address.
Toddler Review: The Full Genius of Despicable Me 3 Really Reveals Itself on the 27th Viewing
Critics rightfully question the depth of modern cinema, yet among the shallows we find a full-throated answer to their query in the towering form of Despicable Me 3. On my 27th viewing, I am only just beginning to peel back the sophisticated layers of this cinematic masterpiece.
Devastating: Black New Yorkers Unable To Shovel Driveways As None Of Them Have ID
NEW YORK CITY — With winter storms pounding the Northeast, black New Yorkers were sadly left unable to shovel their driveways as none of them have government ID.