WASHINGTON, D.C. — Microsoft founder and former CEO Bill Gates was brought before the United States Congress this week to answer for his connection to convicted sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein and Windows Vista.
Babylon Bee
Least Popular Sport In The World Holds Little Tournament
U.S. — The least popular sport in the world is hosting a tiny little tournament for the few people who care.
Was Jesus The Long-Awaited Messiah? 9 Subtle Clues
As Christians, we believe Jesus was the Messiah, or anointed one, and a fulfillment of Jewish scripture. But we understand that it might not be obvious to everyone, so let us guide you through some of the more subtle hints in the Bible that Jesus was truly the…
Starmer To Irish: Let Us Not Bicker And Argue About Who Beheaded Whom
LONDON — Public uprisings in Ireland flared once again last night, as Irish citizens lashed out in anger following the attempted beheading of an Irishman by a Sudanese migrant, leading UK Prime Minister Kier Starmer to ask the Irish not to bicker and argue over who beheaded whom.
Obama Says If He Had A Son Who Stabbed Someone In The Heart With A Knife, He Would Look Just Like Karmelo Anthony
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As racial tensions continued to rise in the wake of the verdict handed down in the Austin Metcalf murder trial, a somber former President Barack Obama said if he had a son who stabbed someone in the heart with a knife, he would look just…
Maine Updates State Flag With Swastika
AUGUSTA, ME — The citizens of Maine have cast their votes to officially update the state flag to include a swastika.
Life Hack: Wife Texting You Too Much? Reply ‘Unsubscribe’ And She’s Legally Required To Stop
Unsubscribing from spam texts is well known, but did you know you can also unsubscribe from your wife? All you have to do is text back "UNSUBSCRIBE" and she’s legally required to stop.
Mom Enjoys 30-Minute Respite Between Completing Laundry And Needing To Do More Laundry
SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Local mom Rachel Thompson reportedly enjoyed a brief half-hour break this week in between finishing all the laundry and having to do more laundry.
L.A. Residents Face Tough Decision Whether To Elect Communist Or Communist
LOS ANGELES, CA — Following last week’s primary elections, L.A. residents now face a difficult choice in the general election between an avowed communist and an avowed communist.
Karmelo Kicking Himself For Not Converting To Islam And Stabbing Someone In The UK Instead
MCKINNEY, TX — Nineteen-year-old convicted murderer Karmelo Anthony, in his first public comments since being found guilty of first-degree murder, expressed regret that he didn’t convert to Islam and stab someone in the UK instead.