WASHINGTON, D.C. — As hostilities between the United States and the Iranian regime flared up again in recent days, President Donald Trump warned Iran that his next Truth Social post would include even more exclamation marks.
Babylon Bee
Pastor Torn Between Preaching God’s Eternal Word Or Playing Another Movie Clip
ARCADIA, CA — A local pastor found himself torn between preaching God’s eternal and entirely sufficient Scriptures to the congregation or just playing another entertaining movie clip.
Babylon Bee Writers Devastated As AOC Announces She Will Never Date A Conservative
BABYLON BEE HEADQUARTERS — Mourning and sorrow have seized the writers of The Babylon Bee as Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, she whom all at the Bee dearly wish to date, adamantly declared she would never go out with a conservative.
Nation Proposes Repealing 19th Amendment But Just For Women Who Support Lindsay Clancy
WASHINGTON, DC — Citizens of the United States have proposed repealing the right for women to vote, but only for those women who vocally support child-murderer Lindsay Clancy.
God Decides To Flood Earth Again After KFC Releases Oreo Chicken Sandwich
HEAVEN — Heavenly sources report that the Lord has decided it is once again time to wipe out most of humanity after Kentucky Fried Chicken released the Oreo Chicken Sandwich.
Toddler Puts Self Up For Adoption After Seeing Mom Scrolling Lindsay Clancy TikTok
DANBURY, CT — According to sources, a toddler has reportedly put herself up for adoption after witnessing his mother scrolling through Lindsay Clancy TikTok.
Tim Walz To Head Up Vikings Cheerleader Squad
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Governor Tim Walz made a special appearance at U.S. Bank Stadium on Friday, marking his first appearance as head cheerleader for the Minnesota Vikings.
Woman Praying That The Lord’s Will Be Done As Long As It’s The Same As Her Will
POUGHKEEPSIE, NY — A local woman reportedly dedicated herself to praying day and night that the Lord’s will be done for her, but only so long as it is the same as her will.
Lindsay Clancy Surges To Commanding Lead As 2028 Democrat Front-Runner
U.S. — New poll numbers released this week showed Lindsay Clancy surging into the frontrunner position in the race to become the 2028 Democratic presidential nominee.
Suspicions Of Ayatollah’s Death Rise After His Name Appears On California Voter Rolls
SACRAMENTO, CA — After months of speculation about Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei’s health, suspicions of his demise arose once more after his name was discovered on the California voter rolls.