ALBUQUERQUE, NM — CNN has officially been forced off the air in New Mexico after the state passed a new law criminalizing fake news.
Babylon Bee
Child’s Honest Observations Becoming Pretty Hurtful
CLARENDON, TX — The honest, unfiltered observations offered up by local six-year-old Stephen Rawls have become progressively more hurtful for his parents to hear, sources revealed.
Mamdani Installs Muslim Foot-Washing Station At 9/11 Memorial
NEW YORK CITY, NY — Mayor Zohran Mamdani announced the installation of a Muslim foot-washing station at the base of the 9/11 Memorial in preparation for marking the 25th anniversary of the Islamic terrorist attacks.
Woman Who Has Nothing Bad To Say About Her Husband Uninvited From Ladies Lunch Group
PALO ALTO, CA — Local woman Brittany Robinson was kicked out of the local ladies lunch group after it became very apparent she had nothing bad to say about her husband.
Worm Girl Asks Worm Boyfriend If He’d Still Love Her If She Were A Human
BENTONVILLE, AR — Local girl worm Shelly caught her boyfriend Brad completely off guard when she asked if he would still love her if she was a human.
Tucker Carlson Spends 380th Consecutive Episode Criticizing Country Nobody Is Allowed To Criticize
U.S. — Former Fox News host turned podcaster Tucker Carlson released a groundbreaking 380th consecutive episode criticizing the one country that Carlson says no one is allowed to criticize.
Trump Names Harrison Ford As 2nd Greatest President In History
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Controversy swirled online on Friday, as President Donald Trump posted a graphic to social media ranking American leaders, with Harrison Ford listed prominently as the "2nd Greatest" president in history.
Billie Eilish Introduces New Fragrance Socialism’ On Sale Now For $72,000
U.S. — Singer-songwriter Billie Eilish unveiled a brand-new perfume on Friday called "Socialism," which will retail for just $72,000.
7 Tragic World Events As Reported By The Canadian Broadcasting Corp.
Millions were stunned this week when the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation ordered its anchors to refer to 9/11 as "jet crashes," strictly instructing the avoidance of terms like "terrorist attacks." However, this really wasn’t a change for the CBC, which has always had a unique voice for news.
Man Will Continue Listening To Wife’s Story About House Being On Fire Just As Soon As This Helicopter Passes
ONTARIO, CA — Local man Nathan Williams reportedly told his wife he’d be happy to hear more about their house being on fire just as soon as a helicopter finished passing by.