LOS ANGELES, CA — California election officials reminded voters over the weekend that there are just 30 days left to mail in their vote for the Los Angeles mayoral election that happened last Tuesday.
Babylon Bee
Teen Boy Worried Hair Does Not Look Enough Like Head Of Broccoli
HOUSTON, TX — Taking stock of himself in the mirror this morning, local teenager Adrian Larson became deeply concerned that his hair does not look enough like a head of broccoli.
L.A. Vote Update: Spencer Pratt Now At Negative One Billion Votes
LOS ANGELES, CA — After the latest ballot drop, Los Angeles officials released an updated vote tally showing candidate Spencer Pratt was now sitting at negative one billion votes.
Parents Choose Abortion After Devastating News That Their Baby Would Be Among Happiest Demographic On Earth
SALEM, OR – Local parents Terry and Jessica Pritchard decided to abort their baby after receiving the devastating news that he would be among the happiest demographic on the planet.
Bears Forced To Leave Chicago After Every Player, Coach, Fan Killed In Drive-Bys
CHICAGO, IL – The Chicago Bears organization announced today that it will be relocating out of the city due to all of its players and fans having been killed in drive-bys.
St. Paul Relinquishes ‘Chief Of Sinners’ Title After New Platner Allegations Come To Light
HEAVEN – St. Paul has officially relinquished his self-proclaimed title "Chief of Sinners" after learning of the newest allegations against Graham Platner.
After Mail-In Ballots Tallied, Joe Biden Wins L.A. Mayor Race With 81 Million Votes
LOS ANGELES, CA — After multiple days of late-night mail-in ballot drops finally being tallied, it was discovered that Joe Biden had won the Los Angeles mayoral race with an astonishing 81 million votes.
Should You Believe All Women? A Handy Flowchart
Oh no! A woman has accused a political candidate of vile deeds! But should you believe them?
Trump Repairs The Crack In The Liberty Bell
PHILADELPHIA, PA — President Donald Trump proudly announced on Friday that he had repaired the crack on the Liberty Bell, outraging millions of Americans.
Liberals Give Us Their 10 Most Convincing Arguments For Abortion
Among Americans, there remains an ever-growing divide between those who are pro-life and those who are pro-killing-their-baby. In an attempt to bridge this divide, The Babylon Bee interviewed thousands of liberals to hear their compelling reasons to murder infants.