U.S. — Fast food giant McDonald’s unveiled the latest addition to its menu today, unveiling the all-new Ozempic McFlurry.
Babylon Bee
Defiant Trump Nails Copy Of ‘The Art Of The Deal’ To Vatican Door
VATICAN CITY — President Donald Trump escalated his feud with Pope Leo this morning, nailing a copy of The Art of the Deal to the door of the Vatican.
Thanks, Wokeness: Commercials No Longer Showing Medicine As Tiny Little Warriors Who Murder Tiny Little Germs
U.S. — According to advertising experts, the reason television commercials no longer depict medicine as tiny little warriors murdering tiny little germs is because of "wokeness."
42-Minute Delay As Dad Asked To Empty Cargo Pants At TSA Checkpoint
TULSA, OK — The security line ground to a halt this morning at the Tulsa International Airport as it took 42 minutes for a local dad to empty his cargo pants.
The Bee Explains: The Chimp Civil War
As you’ve probably heard, there is a chimpanzee civil war in Uganda.
Grandma Announces She Has Finally Joined MyFace
NAVASOTA, TX — Local grandma Susan Fields announced to her family that she had finally gotten with the times and made a profile on "that MyFace thing."
BLASPHEMY: Pope Leo Shares AI Picture Of Him Dressed As Trump
VATICAN CITY — In an escalation of the public feud between the U.S. president and the supreme pontiff of the Catholic Church, Pope Leo XIV shared an AI-generated photo of himself dressed as Donald Trump.
BLASPHEMY: Pope Leo Shares AI Picture Depicting Himself As Donald Trump
VATICAN CITY — In an escalation of the public feud between the U.S. president and the supreme pontiff of the Catholic Church, Pope Leo XIV shared an AI-generated photo of himself dressed as Donald Trump.
Trump Predicts His Approval Ratings Will Be Resurrected In Three Days
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump told reporters on Monday that he wasn’t concerned about his recent dip in popularity or the controversy that resulted from his posting of a social media image depicting himself as Christ, boldly predicting that his approval ratings would be resurrected in three days.
Swalwell Insists He Didn’t Assault Any Of Those Chinese Spies He Slept With
SACRAMENTO, CA — After being accused of multiple counts of sexual assault, Representative Eric Swalwell issued a fierce denial today, insisting that he never assaulted any of the Chinese spies he slept with.