WASHINGTON, D.C. — In remarks delivered from the Oval Office on Tuesday, President Donald Trump announced that he had officially classified liberal women as a terrorist organization.
Babylon Bee
Hollywood Working On Darker, Grittier Reboot Of ‘Howdy Doody’
LOS ANGELES, CA — Nearly 65 years after The Howdy Doody Show was canceled, NBCUniversal announced plans to bring back the beloved character in a dark, gritty reboot.
7 Other Costumes Target Was Forced To Pull Due To Racist Connotations
Retail giant Target came under fire this week for selling a "Blacklight Circus Clown Halloween Costume," which essentially amounted to a kid in blackface dressed like a Jim Crow-era minstrel. Whoops! However, that wasn’t the only costume Target was forced to pull from its shelves.
Apocalypse Draws Near As Last Remaining Universally Beloved Human Being Passes Away
‘Rings Of Power’ Producers Save A Fortune By Filming At Local Renaissance Festival
PLANTERSVILLE, TX — Faced with mounting costs and dwindling viewership, producers for the Amazon TV series Rings of Power reportedly saved hundreds of millions of dollars by simply filming at a local Renaissance Festival.
WNBA Forced To Admit Kanter Is A Woman After He Causes Big Dramatic Scene
U.S. — After Enes Kanter caused a big dramatic scene in public, the WNBA was forced to admit that the former NBA player is indeed a woman.
Father Puts Kids Up For Adoption After They Say ‘UHF’ Isn’t Funny
PEORIA, IL — County officials said they would not stand in the way after local man Christopher P. Smith putting his children up for adoption after they told him the 1989 "Weird" Al Yankovic film UHF wasn’t funny.
Bible Scholars Now Believe David Yelled, ‘Kobe!’ While Hucking Stone At Goliath
VALLEY OF ELAH — A group of theologians and biblical scholars recently concluded that there was reason to believe that David yelled "Kobe!" while hucking a stone at Goliath.
Trump Threatens Military Action To Take Control Of Canada’s Maple Syrup Supply
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With tensions rising over an ongoing trade dispute, President Donald Trump threatened to send in the military to seize control of Canada’s maple syrup supply.
Bruce Banner Reveals His Secret To Becoming Hulk Is That He’s Always Angry At The Jews
NEW YORK, NY — Over the weekend, Dr. Robert Bruce Banner shared a little insight into how he was able to maintain some semblance of control over his transformation into the Incredible Hulk by confirming a deep, personal secret: he’s always angry at the Jews.