LOS ANGELES, CA — Hours after being swept out of the playoffs by the Milwaukee Brewers, the Los Angeles Dodgers announced that the organization had purchased the Milwaukee Brewers.
Babylon Bee
Abdul El-Sayed Issues Fatwa Against Journalists Who Ask Questions About His Support For Terrorism
ANN ARBOR, MI — As the heated race for the open U.S. Senate seat in Michigan entered its final weeks, Democratic candidate Abdul Al-Sayed issued a fatwa against any journalists who ask questions about his support for terrorism.
Dave Ramsey Terrorizes Neighborhood In Adjustable-Rate Mortgage Costume
FRANKLIN, TN — One local celebrity decided to get into the Halloween spirit a couple of weeks early this year, as financial guru Dave Ramsey terrorized his neighborhood by creeping around in an adjustable-rate mortgage costume.
Trump Orders Pentagon To Cancel Execution Livestream And Move It Over To Pay-Per-View
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After significant bipartisan backlash, President Donald Trump ordered the Pentagon to cancel the livestream of convicted domestic terrorist Nidal Hasan’s execution and instead move it over to pay-per-view.
Is Today Your Wife’s Birthday? Know The Signs
Hey, friend, you might be ready to relax, but before you do, you should ask yourself one question first: Is it your wife’s birthday today?
Husbands, Remember To Help Your Wife Out By Filling Out Her Ballot And Mailing It In
Husbands, Election Day is nearly here, so remember to help your wife out by filling out her ballot and mailing it in.
James Talarico Insists The Bible Is Silent On Abortion If You Don’t Count All The Stuff Between Genesis And Revelation
AUSTIN, TX — Speaking at a town hall last night, Democratic Senate candidate James Talarico insisted that the Bible was totally silent on abortion so long as you don’t count all of the stuff between Genesis and Revelation.
Kamala Harris Demands Abolishment Of Electoral College And Also Popular Vote And Also Anything Else She Could Lose
U.S. — As rumors continued to swirl that she was preparing to make another run at the White House in 2028, former Vice President Kamala Harris appeared on a podcast to demand the abolishment of the Electoral College and also the popular vote and also anything else she…
Pharaoh’s Magicians Unable To Replicate Moses’ Color-Changing Mug
EGYPT — Pharaoh’s magicians, though able to match the initial signs of power presented by Moses and Aaron, admitted this morning that they could not replicate the magic of Moses’ color-changing coffee mug.
Ilhan Omar To Be Deported To Dearborn, Michigan
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Federal immigration authorities announced today that Congresswoman Ilhan Omar would be deported from the United States to Dearborn, Michigan.