TEHRAN — A cackling President Donald Trump completely psyched out the Iranian regime by threatening nuclear war and then dropping bombs that only shoot out little flags that say "POW!".
Babylon Bee
Newly Engaged Couple Sets Up Wedding Registry At Chevron Station
VAN NUYS, CA — Newly engaged couple Barrett Brown and Melissa McClaren excitedlywedding registry at a local Chevron station, sources close to the happy couple said.
The New Season Of ‘Californians Move To Texas’ Is Finally Here
Steve and Timpani moved from California to Texas in the hit series Californians Move To Texas. There were a few cultural differences they weren’t prepared for in going from California wokeness to Texas freedom. Now their story continues…
Tragic: Blind Child Received Sight Back But First Thing He Saw Was Boston Red Sox Game
BOSTON, MA — In a heartbreaking turn of events, the first thing seen by a blind child who had his sight restored was a Boston Red Sox game.
8 Shocking Things Artemis II Found On The Far Side Of The Moon
The dark side of the moon has long been the subject of myth and speculation. What mysteries lie beyond the known lunar surface in that dark realm beyond our telescopes?
As Astronauts Reach the Farthest Any Human Has Been From Earth, Mission Specialist Pretty Sure He Left the Oven On
SPACE — On Monday, the Artemis II crew set a new record for the farthest away from Earth humans have ever gone. And as mission specialist Jeremy Hansen stared at the far side of the moon, with the Earth a distant crescent, one thought crossed his mind: He…
Trump Tells Iran This Is Last Warning Before He Sends Bruce Springsteen To Perform There
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump put Iran on notice, stating that this was his final warning before he would send Bruce Springsteen to perform there.
Next-Door Neighbor Either Doing Very Well Financially Or In Massive Amounts Of Debt
SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Local man Tony Flanders noted that, by the looks of it, his next-door neighbor was either very, very wealthy or in massive amounts of debt.
France Questions How Rescue Mission Considered A Success When No One Surrendered To The Nazis
PARIS — On Monday, French officials questioned how the United States could classify the airman rescue mission a success when no one surrendered to the Nazis.
Baseball Traditionalists Long For Good Ol’ Days Of Games Being Decided By Horrifically Bad Calls
U.S. — The installation of the Automated Ball-Strike System in Major League Baseball has left traditionalists longing for the days when games were decided by absurdly awful calls.