U.S. — President Trump has reportedly finalized a new trade deal with the United Kingdom, securing a 15% tariff on the extra "U" in British words.
Babylon Bee
Palestinians Leave Israeli Aid A 3-Star Yelp Review
GAZA — Dissatisfied with the level of humanitarian assistance provided by Israel amid the ongoing conflict with Hamas, Palestinians collectively left the Israeli aid a lackluster 3-star Yelp review.
10 Things More Popular Than Democrats Right Now
According to a new national poll, approval ratings for the Democratic Party are at their lowest point in over 30 years, making some surprising things more popular among voters.
Man’s Comedic Genius Wasted On Grocery Store Cashier
DENVER, CO — Local man Grant Henderson reported disappointment once again at having his sharp wit and keen sense of humor completely wasted on the cashier checking out his groceries.
Bad News: A.I. Still Hasn’t Taken Your Job, So You Still Need to Work This Week
U.S. — Despite hopes to the contrary, recent news reports reveal A.I. still hasn’t replaced your job, so sadly, you still have to go to work this week.
Obama Presidential Library Design Faces Criticism
CHICAGO, IL — As the Obama Presidential Center nears completion, it has faced significant criticism for a design that many say bears a striking resemblance to Castle Grayskull.
Israel Botches Genocide With Millions In Food Aid
GAZA — In an embarrassing blunder, Israel has authorized millions of dollars in food aid to be delivered to the Gaza Strip, completely messing up their ongoing genocide.
Do You Own Enough Swords? Take The Quiz!
Wokeness Defeated: America Returns To Christian Roots Of Objectifying Women To Sell Crap
U.S. — Conservatives across the country cheered the death of wokeness as America finally returned to its Christian roots of objectifying women’s bodies to sell stuff.
Nation’s Lesbians Announce Plan To Go To The Zoo Today
U.S. — The lesbians of the nation have announced that they are once again planning to go to the zoo today.