FRANKLIN, KY — A local man is really excited for the government to release all the government documentation of all the government’s crimes, according to sources.
Babylon Bee
Sad Day Ruined By Good Weather
JACKSON, WY — According to reports, local man Norman Jensen was dismayed to discover his sad day had been ruined by good weather.
10 Animals We Should Be More Suspicious Of
There are a lot of animals on this planet, but most of them are pretty boring, and it’s fine to ignore them. Other animals, though, seem like they could be up to no good, and we should really keep an eye on them.
Ozzy Clarifies To St. Peter He Was Just Joking About The Whole Satanism Thing
PEARLY GATES — Rock legend Ozzy Osbourne sought to do away with some of the confusion about his life on Earth when arriving at the entrance to Heaven, clarifying to St. Peter that he was just joking about the whole Satanism thing.
10 Most Shocking Revelations From The Newly Released MLK Files
The Trump administration took another step toward greater transparency this week, releasing more than 240,000 pages of previously classified FBI records pertaining to civil rights crusader Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Obama Awarded Nobel Prize For Exemplary Work Planning Russian Collusion Hoax
OSLO, NORWAY — Former U.S. President Barack Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize on Tuesday for his efforts in fabricating national intelligence to promote the Russian Collusion Hoax and undermine the presidency of Donald Trump.
In Solidarity With Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel Vows Not To Tell Any Funny Jokes Until ‘Late Show’ Is Reinstated
LOS ANGELES, CA — In solidarity with his friend Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel has vowed not to tell any funny jokes until The Late Show is reinstated.
Grok Waifu Accepts Jesus As Lord And Savior
PALO ALTO, CA — The advancement of the artificial intelligence models created by Elon Musk’s xAI took an unexpected turn today, as the Grok Waifu accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior.
Youth Pastors Show Up To Church In ‘Pay Us What You Owe Us’ Shirts
WHITTIER, CA — Members of a local church were caught off guard last weekend after they arrived for Sunday morning service to find a mob of area youth pastors had shown up wearing "Pay Us What You Owe Us" t-shirts.
To Secure Funding For Stadium, Washington Commanders Change Name To ‘Washington Bloodthirsty Injuns’
LANDOVER, MD — As part of a deal for the construction of a new stadium, the Washington Commanders, formerly the Washington Redskins, have agreed to change their name to the Washington Bloodthirsty Injuns.