WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a the wake of yet another failed assassination attempt against President Trump, leading Democrats across the nation announced they would observe the long-standing tradition of a five-minute pause in calling Trump "literally Hitler".
Babylon Bee
CNN Reports Loud Popping Noises At White House Correspondents’ Dinner
7 Inspiring Scripture Quotes To Lift You Up
When your soul yearns for inspiration, there is no better place to turn than the Word of God. Be lifted up by these seven amazing quotes from Scripture:
Nation Really Wishing Someone Out There Would Start A New Podcast
U.S. — A recent survey showed that an overwhelming number of Americans spend their days desperately wishing someone out there would start a new podcast.
Nation In Stunned Disbelief That The Patriot Front Might Have Been Fake
U.S. — The nation was left in complete disbelief today upon learning that the so-called Patriot Front might have actually been fake.
Kid’s Crappy Sunday School Drawing Apparently Pleasing To Jesus
LINDALE, TX — Surprising many, a preacher at New Wine Community Church held up a three-year-old child’s crappy Sunday school drawing and declared that it was pleasing to Jesus.
SPLC Says Funding KKK Only 3% Of What They Do
MONTGOMERY, AL — The Southern Poverty Law Center defended itself against reports of controversial spending practices by informing donors that funding the Ku Klux Klan is only 3% of what they do.
Crazy Old Guy At Nursing Home Keeps Telling People He Was Once The President
WILMINGTON, DE — Residents and staff at a local elder care facility were forced to stifle their laughter again this week, as a crazy old man who moved into the nursing home over a year ago kept telling people he was once the President of the United States.
Child Informs Parents She Feels Most Loved When She Is Allowed To Do Everything She Wants With No Consequences
COVENTRY, RI — Local child Lilly Shacklefort made waves in her community this Friday when she told her parents she feels most loved when she’s allowed to do whatever she wants without any consequences whatsoever.
Patriots Draft Marriage Counselor In Second Round
PITTSBURGH, PA — With their second-round pick in the 2026 NFL Draft, the New England Patriots have officially selected marriage counselor Amy Connors out of the University of North Texas Clinical Counseling Program.