We all love a good conversion story. Those beautiful accounts of people who thought life had meaning and then realized that none of this matters and we’re all going to die and there’s nothing else after that except the long darkness. It brings a tear to the eye…
Babylon Bee
Nation Kicks Off Fundraiser To Get Mamdani To Hug The Dodgers’ Mascot
LOS ANGELES, CA — A grassroots movement among baseball fans appears to have gained significant traction in recent weeks as fans beg New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani to "please" hug the Dodgers mascot.
Man Packs Book For Vacation So He Can Carry Around Book On Vacation
SAN DIEGO, CA — In accordance with his normal travel routine, a local man made sure that he packed a book for his vacation so that he can carry around a book on his vacation.
Too Far? Gerrymandered Virginia Congressional Map Includes California
RICHMOND, VA — The political landscape in the Commonwealth was set to change drastically moving forward, as the new gerrymandered congressional map of Virginia was revealed to include the entire state of California.
Should You Donate To The KKK? A Helpful Flowchart
After Losing SPLC Funding, KKK Forced To Buy Robes Off Temu
MONTGOMERY, AL — Following their sudden loss of funding from the Southern Poverty Law Center, members of Ku Klux Klan were reportedly forced purchase their iconic pointy white robes on the discount website Temu.
Democrats Devastated To Learn America Less Racist Than They Thought
U.S. — Democrats were deeply saddened to learn today that America isn’t actually as racist as they thought it was.
Newsom Orders Reservoirs Emptied In Preparation For Fire Season
LOS ANGELES, CA — Governor Gavin Newsom took decisive action on Tuesday as he ordered California reservoirs drained in preparation ahead of this year’s fire season.
Party That Promised To Save America Announces It’s Not Really Interested In Saving America Anymore
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following months of urging from President Trump and the American people to pass the SAVE Act and secure the integrity of U.S. elections, the party that promised to save America announced that it wasn’t really interested in saving America anymore.
Weird, But OK: Woman Carries Child For 9 Months Just To Name Him ‘Walter’
KINGMAN, AZ — According to witness accounts, a local woman carried her unborn child to a full 9 months, enduring considerable hardship in the process, only to name him "Walter."