If you’re hoping to make good on your New Year’s resolution to become a better Christian than you’ve come to the right place. The staff of The Babylon Bee has collectively read the Bible at least once, so we know a thing or two about being a better…
Babylon Bee
Trump To Choose Next Venezuelan President In Inaugural Season Of ‘El Aprendiz’
CARACAS — Following the deposition of dictator Nicolas Maduro, the White House announced that Donald Trump would make his return to reality television to choose the next Venezuelan president in the inaugural season of El Aprendiz.
Trump Leads Seal Team To Capture Rogue Dictator Gavin Newsom
SACRAMENTO, CA — Only days after the toppling of the Maduro regime in Venezuela, news broke Monday morning that President Donald Trump had led a Navy SEAL team to capture rogue dictator Gavin Newsom.
Thoughtful Husband Purposely Does Numerous Things Wrong Because He Knows How Much His Wife Loves Nagging
TWIN FALLS, ID — A thoughtful husband is being recognized for purposely doing numerous things wrong because he knows how much his wife loves nagging.
Liberals Quickly Change ‘No Kings’ Signs To Read ‘Yes Kings’ In Support Of Maduro
U.S. — Liberal protesters have taken to the streets to protest the U.S. government’s arrest of Nicolás Maduro by quickly switching their "NO KINGS" signs to instead read "YES KINGS."
Tim Walz Retiring To Spend More Time In Prison
British Ask If Trump Can Please Do That Same Thing With Keir Starmer
LONDON, UK — In the wake of the swift capture and extradition of Venezuelan dictator Nicolas Maduro, millions of ordinary British citizens have asked if Trump could please come do that same thing with Prime Minister Keir Starmer.
Man’s High School Hacky Sack Skills Woefully Underprepared Him For Adult Life
SAN JOSE, CA — Local man Jeremy Gibbons’ incredible hacky sack skills have somehow left him woefully unprepared for adult life.
Sad: This Man Didn’t Check The News For One Hour And Missed The Entirety Of World War III
SPOKANE, WA — Local man Travis Barnes sadly failed to check his phone for one hour, missing out on the entirety of World War III.
Aides Tell Disappointed Trump That Maduro And Mamdani Are Different People
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump was crushed today when aides informed him that Maduro and Mamdani are, in fact, different people.