BATESVILLE, IN — In what many called a brazen attack on cherished American values, the Ripley County Board of Commissioners announced that it had elected to replace a local 4-way stop with one of those roundabouts.
Babylon Bee
7 Tips For Christian Women To Dress Modestly
It can be difficult to find modest attire when you’re a Christian woman, what with all the competing expectations. Fortunately, we at the Babylon Bee are not just prophets – we’re also fashion experts. Here are seven simple tips for Christian ladies to dress modestly:
America Graciously Converts 20 Iranian Warships Into New Submarines
PERSIAN GULF — In a sign of enormous good will, American forces helpfully converted 20 Iranian warships into submarines.
To Save Time, Iran Appoints Supreme Leader Who Is Already Dead
TEHRAN — Following the death of Ayatollah Ali Khamenei and a significant portion of the nation’s leadership, the Assembly of Experts, charged with choosing the next Ayatollah, have opted to appoint a new supreme leader who is already dead.
Conservatives Express Concern Over Foreign Wars And OOHHH DANG OUR SUBMARINE JUST BLEW UP A BOAT HECK YEAH WE ARE SO BACK
U.S. — Conservatives across the country have expressed concern over the United States becoming entangled in another foreign war — OHHH DANG OUR SUBMARINE JUST FRIGGIN’ TORPEDOED A BOAT WE ARE SO BACK!!!
Sad: Iran’s ‘Assembly Of Experts’ Forgets To Include Expert On Not Getting Blown Up
TEHRAN — In a tragic oversight, Iran’s "Assembly of Experts" forgot to include an expert in not dying in a massive fireball.
Pentecostal Wins At Scrabble Again By Spelling All Words In Tongues
FALLON, NV — Local Pentecostal Christian Glenn Fuller reportedly beat all his friends at Scrabble yet again thanks to his miraculous ability to spell out all words in tongues.
Lame Local Church Doesn’t Even Have An App
WACO, TX — According to sources, a lame local church doesn’t even have its own app.
New Reusable Water Bottle Makes You Sign In To Google
U.S. — According to sources, a new reusable water bottle now requires the user to sign into their Google account in order to open it.
Global Leaders Warn That If WW3 Doesn’t End Soon, It Could Disrupt Taylor Swift’s Wedding
WORLD — World leaders pleaded with Israel and the United States to stop attacking Iran this week in an emergency meeting of the United Nations Security Council, warning that if World War III doesn’t end soon, it would likely distract from Taylor Swift’s wedding.