VATICAN CITY — Pope Leo issued a forceful condemnation of the Allied Forces resorting to violence instead of simply talking things out with the Nazis.
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Megyn Kelly Goes Back To Normal After Eating A Snickers
NEW YORK, NY — After months of mounting concern over her apparent change in viewpoints on geopolitical matters, popular commentator and podcaster Megyn Kelly reportedly went back to normal after eating a Snickers.
U.S. Embassy In Minneapolis Evacuated Over Safety Concerns For American Citizens
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — The United States State Department issued an evacuation order for the U.S. embassy located in downtown Minneapolis on Friday, citing concerns over the safety of American citizens in the area.
DHS Nominee Markwayne Mullin Surges In Popularity After Vowing To Deport Liberal White Ladies
U.S. — As the Trump cabinet experienced a significant changing of the guard, new Department of Homeland Security nominee Markwayne Mullin surged in popularity among the American people after vowing to deport liberal white ladies.
Tearful Trump Takes Kristi Noem Behind Woodshed
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With a hard-set face betrayed by tears, President Donald Trump was seen taking Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem out back behind the White House woodshed.
8 New Jobs Dan Crenshaw Has His Eye On
Following his primary loss to Steve Toth, Texas Congressman Dan Crenshaw is now looking for a new career path.
U.S. Air Force Destroys $3,200 Iranian Regime Toyota With $30-Million Smart Bomb
TEHRAN — The United States Air Force confirmed a major strategic victory in Iran this week after it utilized a $30 million smart bomb to destroy one of Iran’s used $3,200 Toyota pickup trucks.
‘Mmm, I Love Coffee,’ Says Woman Drinking Chocolate Milk With Single Drop Of Espresso
MILWAUKEE, WI — Sources revealed that Stephany Sumner, 37, was entirely unable to restrain herself from talking about how much she loved coffee after taking a sip of chocolate milk with a single drop of espresso in it.
Iranian Regime Calls White House To Ask If They Can Have Biden Back
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Faced with the threat of their total annihilation, the Islamic Republic of Iran reportedly contacted the White House on Thursday to ask if they could "please have Joe Biden back."
Congress Pledges To Work Tirelessly To Expose All Sex Criminals Who Aren’t In Congress
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With tensions rising both domestically and around the world, members of the United States Congress gave the American people a solemn pledge to work tirelessly to expose all sex criminals who aren’t in Congress.