WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump has declared the White House a no-go zone for ICE raids until construction is completed on the new ballroom.
Babylon Bee
Man Replaces Personality With New Smoker
BOUNTIFUL, UT — Local man James Larson made a significant life change after deciding to replace his entire personality with his affection for his newly purchased smoker.
LeBron Performs Ceremonial Flop To Open New NBA Season
LOS ANGELES, CA — Lakers superstar LeBron James kicked off the NBA season Tuesday by performing the ceremonial opening flop ahead of the team’s first game against the Golden State Warriors.
Black Bears Demand To Be Referred To As ‘Bears Of Color’
SACRAMENTO, CA — In a historic move, California’s famous black bears, in cooperation with the NAACP, met on the steps of the state capitol to demand that they now be referred to as "Bears of Color."
Is It A Sin? Ask The Babylon Bee
People often mistake us for an official church ministry, so we get a lot of e-mails asking about sin. We usually ignore them, but not today! Join us as we exercise deep spiritual discernment to answer the following important questions:
White House Construction Crew Finds 1,357 More Cocaine Stashes
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Construction workers tasked with building a new White House Ballroom reportedly discovered 1,357 stashes of cocaine hidden within the walls and ceilings of the East Wing.
Trump Welcomes Top Australian Diplomat To White House
WASHINGTON, D.C.-In one of his most popular moves of all time, President Trump invited top Australian dignitary Bandit Healer to the White House.
Democrats Enjoy Their Favorite Pastime Of Holding All-White Rallies
WASHINGTON, D.C.-Democrats continued their long tradition of holding whites-only rallies over the weekend as hundreds gathered around the country to protest what they see as executive overreach.
Here Are All The Things Accomplished By Last Weekend’s ‘No Kings’ Protests
Thanks to all of the "No Kings" protests that took place across the United States over the weekend, we now live in a completely different world. There isn’t enough time or space to detail all of the earth-shattering things that have come about as a result of the…
Homeless Man Made Fun Of By All The Other Homeless Men For Not Having iPhone 17
LOS ANGELOS, CA — A local homeless man reported over the weekend that he had been made fun of by all of the other homeless men for not having an iPhone 17.