BURBANK, CA — Walt Disney Studios announced Monday that all lessons learned from the disastrous release of Disney’s Snow White have been affectively unlearned thanks to the box office success of Lilo & Stitch.
Babylon Bee
California Unveils Massive New Escape Room Called ‘California’
SACRAMENTO, CA — In an effort to simultaneously deal with the state’s residents attempting to stage a mass exodus and capitalize on the popularity of fun group party activities, California unveiled a massive new escape room called "California."
The Babylon Bee Has Acquired The Starbucks Employee Union List Of Demands
The fate of the world was left hanging in the balance when Starbucks employees went on strike, holding the company over the proverbial barrel with a long list of demands. The willingness of Starbucks management to give in could very well determine the survival of human civilization.
Trump Responds To Putin’s Charge Of Him Being Emotional With An All-Caps Tweet
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Tensions stemming from the ongoing negotiations between Russia and Ukraine to bring the years-long war to an end threatened to boil over once again, as President Donald Trump responded to Vladimir Putin’s charge of him being emotional with an all-caps social media post.
Biden, Macron Team Up To Form Support Group For Battered And Abused World Leaders
WORLD — Joe Biden has found a new purpose in his post-presidential years, having formed a new support group for battered and abused world leaders with French President Emmanuel Macron.
South African President Says Skulls Of Murdered White Farmers Just Halloween Decorations
CAPE TOWN — In response to public outcry accusing the country’s regime of engaging in genocide, South African President Cyril Ramaphosa assured people that skulls of murdered white farmers were just Halloween decorations.
Man Honors Fallen Soldiers By Purchasing Refrigerator At Incredible Discount
DALLAS, TX — Local man Jim Reese honored the fallen this Memorial Day by purchasing a Whirlpool refrigerator at an incredible 47% discount.
French President Macron Claims He Fell Down The Stairs Again
HANOI — Rumors about a potential domestic spat that may have turned ugly were put to rest today, as French President Emmanuel Macron assured reporters that he had just fallen down some stairs again.
Oh No: Phil Robertson Greeted In Heaven By 12 Million Angry Ducks
HEAVEN — Church elder and Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson came face to face with consequences this week after he was caught up to paradise, where 12 million angry ducks awaited him.
Veterans Brace For Onslaught Of ‘Happy Memorial Day’ Greetings
U.S. — As families across the country prepared to enjoy a day of food, fun, and frivolity, America’s military veterans braced themselves for the annual onslaught of "Happy Memorial Day" greetings.