NEW YORK, NY — Sources said the indicted New York attorney general held out hope that she could ease her combative relationship with the president, as Letitia James attempted to smooth things over by sending Trump a heartfelt "Sorry I Maliciously Prosecuted You" card.
Babylon Bee
Too Far? Trump Constructs ‘Dungeon Of Torment’ For Presidents To Punish Their Political Enemies
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Concerns over President Trump’s ethics were raised this week ordered the construction of a Dungeon of Torment for his political enemies, causing many to question: Is the president perhaps going too far?
NFL Bows To Pressure, Will Have Jordan Peterson Do Halftime Show Instead
NEW YORK, NY — Due to overwhelming pressure, the National Football League announced that it had canceled plans for rapper Bad Bunny to perform at the Super Bowl LX halftime show and instead offered the coveted spot to psychologist and author Dr. Jordan B. Peterson.
Trump Brokers Historic Peace Deal Between Yankees And Red Sox Fans
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the peace agreement between Israel and Hamas tentatively settled, President Donald Trump reportedly set his sights on quelling the longstanding unrest between Yankees and Red Sox fans.
Greta Thunberg Awarded Nobel Prize For Ending The War In Gaza
OSLO — The Nobel Committee announced that it had officially chosen Greta Thunberg to receive the Nobel Peace Prize for her pivotal role in bringing an end to the war in Gaza.
10 Demands Hamas Is Making In The Peace Deal
President Trump may have finally achieved what many long thought impossible, as Israel and Hamas have agreed to the first phase of a peace agreement, but this ceasefire didn’t come without conditions from Hamas.
‘Why Am I So Depressed?’ Asks Wife Who Listens To 8 Hours Of Murder Podcasts A Day
WAUKEE, IA — Local suburban housewife Keightlyynn Huxley reported today that an unusual cloud of depression has been following her around lately, and she can’t explain why.
Hitler Brings Peace To Israel
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning development that experts said could change the course of geopolitics for the foreseeable future, Hitler announced a historic agreement that would bring lasting peace to Israel.
Authorities Warn Katie Porter Has Grown To 600 Feet And Is Currently Rampaging Through San Francisco
SAN FRANCISCO – The National Guard has been called to California’s Golden City to neutralize a 600-foot-tall Katie Porter, who is apparently rampaging her way through San Francisco.
Is Your Wife Overdoing The Halloween Decorations? Look For These Signs
Has your wife crossed the line from fun Halloween decorations to total psychopathy? Look for the signs below that she’s overdone it: