The seasons are a-changing, and your darling wife is already shivering as temperatures drop into the 70s. With winter approaching, here are eight clever ways to actually keep your wife warm:
Babylon Bee
Mohammed Upset As Democrats Keep Calling Islam A Religion Of Peace
HELL — The founder of Islam expressed continued frustration with Democrats on Wednesday, calling them out for referring to Islam as a "religion of peace."
Compromise: Trump Agrees To Designate Chicago Mayor’s House ‘ICE-Free Zone’
CHICAGO, IL – President Trump has graciously agreed to compromise with Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson, allowing for designation of an "ICE-free zone" in the Mayor’s house.
In Honor Of October 7, Mamdani Paraglides Into Campaign Event
NEW YORK CITY — New York City mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani paraglided into his campaign event today in honor of October 7th and the horrific atrocities committed by Hamas that day.
James Comey Produces Letter Signed By 51 Former Intelligence Officials Saying He’s Totally Innocent
ALEXANDRIA, VA — At his arraignment on charges of making false statements and obstruction, former FBI Director James Comey produced a letter signed by 51 former intelligence officials testifying to the fact that he’s totally innocent.
Embarrassed Jay Jones Realizes He’s Only Supposed To Want To Murder Kids Before They’re Born
ARLINGTON, VA — An embarrassed Jay Jones realized earlier this week that he was only supposed to support murdering kids before they were born, not after.
Governor Pritzker Activates 100 Battalions Of Illegal Immigrants In War Against ICE
SPRINGFIELD, IL — Seeking to ramp up his opposition force against the invasion of federal agents seeking to enforce the law, Governor JB Pritzker activated 100 battalions of illegal immigrants in Illinois’s war against ICE.
20 Christ Metaphors In Video Games
Video games have a reputation for violence and novelty, but they can actually be quite Christ-focused. Just consider these top 20 Christ metaphors in video games:
Wife Decides To Ask Question To 10,000 Random Strangers On Facebook Rather Than Googling It
FRANKLIN, KY — A strange phenomenon was observed in a local household this week, as a husband noticed that his wife again decided to ask a question to 10,000 random strangers on Facebook rather than just googling it to get the right answer.
With Government Shutdown Closing National Parks, Moose Forced to Find New Jobs
GRAND TETONS, WA — In a tragic displacement caused by the ongoing government shutdown of National Parks, moose across the country have been forced to find new jobs.