U.S. — Experts are now recommending parents limit their children to just four hours of brain-rotting slop each day to better prepare them for the future.
Babylon Bee
Trump In High-Speed Chase From International Cops After Breaking International Law
SOMEWHERE IN THE NEVADA DESERT — U.S. President Donald Trump was spotted fleeing from international cops in a high-speed chase after allegedly breaking international law again.
Mamdani Tunes Into ‘The View’ To Receive His Classified Morning Briefing
NEW YORK, NY — A statement from the mayor’s office confirmed Zohran Mamdani was following the situation in Venezuela very closely and would have more to report after his classified morning briefing, which he receives from watching The View.
Democrats Solemnly Remember The Only Riot They Didn’t Like
WASHINGTON, D.C. — On the anniversary of the January 6, 2021, incident at the U.S. Capitol, Democrat lawmakers gathered together once again to solemnly remember the only riot they didn’t like.
7 Simple Ways To Be A Better Christian This Year
If you’re hoping to make good on your New Year’s resolution to become a better Christian than you’ve come to the right place. The staff of The Babylon Bee has collectively read the Bible at least once, so we know a thing or two about being a better…
Trump To Choose Next Venezuelan President In Inaugural Season Of ‘El Aprendiz’
CARACAS — Following the deposition of dictator Nicolas Maduro, the White House announced that Donald Trump would make his return to reality television to choose the next Venezuelan president in the inaugural season of El Aprendiz.
Trump Leads Seal Team To Capture Rogue Dictator Gavin Newsom
SACRAMENTO, CA — Only days after the toppling of the Maduro regime in Venezuela, news broke Monday morning that President Donald Trump had led a Navy SEAL team to capture rogue dictator Gavin Newsom.
Thoughtful Husband Purposely Does Numerous Things Wrong Because He Knows How Much His Wife Loves Nagging
TWIN FALLS, ID — A thoughtful husband is being recognized for purposely doing numerous things wrong because he knows how much his wife loves nagging.
Liberals Quickly Change ‘No Kings’ Signs To Read ‘Yes Kings’ In Support Of Maduro
U.S. — Liberal protesters have taken to the streets to protest the U.S. government’s arrest of Nicolás Maduro by quickly switching their "NO KINGS" signs to instead read "YES KINGS."
