Before you sign your kids up for a daycare in Minnesota, it’s always important to first check if it’s a Somali front for defrauding the government. Here are eight signs to be on the lookout for:
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College Football Player Achieves Lifelong Dream Of Playing In Duke’s Mayo Bowl Brought To You By Duke’s Mayo
U.S. — One young student athlete’s years of hard work were finally set to pay off, as a college football player prepared to achieve his lifelong dream of playing in the Duke’s Mayo Bowl brought to you by Duke’s Mayo.
‘Conservatives Want Women In Handmaid’s Tale Outfits,’ Declares Liberal Wearing Hijab
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Democratic Lieutenant Governor Peggy Flanagan donned a full hijab for a press conference where she warned that conservatives want to force women into Handmaid’s Tale outfits.
Exclusive: The Babylon Bee Has Obtained A Copy Of Trump‘s New Year’s Resolutions
It’s the end of December, which means people all over the world are making their lists of New Year’s resolutions for 2026 — and President Donald Trump is no different.
Man Achieves American Dream Of Working Hard And Paying Taxes For 50 Years So He Can Fund Fraudulent Somali Daycares
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Local factory worker Hector Flintstock has been working hard, following the law, saving money, and paying taxes for 50 years, and is finally able to achieve his lifelong retirement dream of funding a fraudulent Somali daycare center.
Planet Fitness Offering Convenient New Two-Week Membership For New Year’s
HAMPTON, NH — As millions resolve to briefly get back in shape, Planet Fitness announced a convenient new two-week gym membership just in time for the New Year’s holiday.
Wife Starts Making Plans for Next Christmas
SARATOGA SPRINGS, UT — Local wife Brittany Spencer was reportedly seen starting her Christmas planning for next year on December 26th.
Walz Announces $8 Billion Grant To Somali Company To Investigate Fraud
ST. PAUL, MN — In response to growing allegations of fraud tied to Minnesota’s Somali community, Governor Tim Walz announced he had awarded an $8 billion grant to a Somali company to find the perpetrators.
Benny Johnson Reacts To Benny Johnson Reacting To Benny Johnson
U.S. — In a brand new Benny Johnson video, media personality Benny Johnson reacts to a Benny Johnson video where he reacts to an older Benny Johnson tweet about a Benny Johnson video.’
The Babylon Bee Announces Its ‘Persons Of The Year’ Awards For 2025
As we close out 2025, the time has come to announce the greatest of all awards, that prize far more coveted than a mere Nobel Prize or Oscar. After hours of intense debate, countless votes, and the sacking of two employees, we are now ready to reveal The…