VATICAN CITY — Catholics and Protestants around the world expressed concern this week, as Pope Leo XVI gave his recommendation that Christians pray the rosary while facing in the direction of Mecca.
Babylon Bee
Atheist Looks Forward To The Warmth And Cheer Of Arbitrary Cultural Traditions With No Transcendent Meaning
NEW YORK CITY — Sources close to Gary Bard say that the long-time atheist is looking forward to the warmth and cheer of arbitrary cultural traditions with no transcendent meaning again this year.
Tragic: Wives Caught In Endless Thank You Card Loop
GREENSBORO, NC — Local wives Misty Barnard and Kelsey Martin have become tragically caught in a never-ending loop of thank-you cards.
Special Needs Community Demands People Stop Comparing Them To Tim Walz
U.S. — Americans with cognitive disabilities and other special needs have demanded that people stop comparing them to Tim Walz.
Nigerian Prince Scammed By Somali Immigrant
LAGOS, NIGERIA — In yet another case of fraud perpetrated by Somalis, a Nigerian prince fell prey to an online scam perpetrated by a Somali immigrant.
Fans Worry Sale Of WB To Netflix Could Turn Comic Book Movies Into Soulless Cash Grabs
U.S. — Movie fans across the country have expressed concern that Warner Bros’ sale to Netflix could lead to comic book movies becoming over-bloated, soulless cash grabs.
Jehovah’s Witness Family Takes Drive To Look At All The Houses With No Christmas Lights
PASADENA, CA — A family of Jehovah’s Witnesses continued their annual tradition of piling into the car and going for a drive to look at houses without Christmas lights.
10 Changes Coming To Warner Bros Films After Netflix Acquisition
After a bidding war, Netflix has secured a deal to buy Warner Bros. Discovery for a reported $82.7 billion. Once the deal is finalized, fans will notice significant changes to beloved WB properties like Harry Potter, Looney Tunes, and Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.
Taylor Swift Hoping Travis Kelce Forgot They’re Engaged
KANSAS CITY, MO — Rumors swirled that the Kansas City Chiefs’ disappointing season had led one of the world’s biggest celebrities to reconsider her future, with Taylor Swift hoping that Travis Kelce had forgotten that they were engaged.
Game Of Monopoly Narrowly Avoided
CAMILLA, GA — A routine family game night almost ended in disaster after a young child asked to play Monopoly. Fortunately for everyone involved, better heads prevailed, and the game of Monopoly was narrowly avoided.