ANN ARBOR, MI — Just moments after news broke that the University of Michigan had fired head football coach Sherrone Moore with cause, Secretary of State Marco Rubio had been tapped as interim coach.
Babylon Bee
Report: Backs Of Cereal Boxes Have Really Gone Downhill
U.S. — A recent report finds that the backs of cereal boxes have really gone downhill over the years, which is lame.
Jasmine Crockett Hits Campaign Trail To Axe For Votes
HOUSTON, TX — Representative Jasmine Crockett has officially launched her Senate bid, immediately hitting the campaign trail to "axe for votes."
23 Gifts The Wise Men Should Have Brought Instead
Indianapolis Colts Debut New Trick Play Where Philip Rivers Fakes Handoff To Running Back Then Runs Off Field To Get Wife Pregnant Again
INDIANAPOLIS, IN — The Indianapolis Colts unveiled a new trick play where quarterback Philip Rivers fakes a handoff, then jogs off the field to get his wife pregnant again.
Small Group Waits In Hushed Anticipation As Newlyweds Prepare To Offer Marriage Advice
OLATHE, KS — A local church gathering was set to offer new insights into life that no one else had ever discovered before, as a small group waited in hushed anticipation, as newlyweds prepared to offer marriage advice to everyone else.
Life Hack: Trick A Lovely Lady Into Marrying You By Hiding Your Obsessive Hobby Until Alas It Is Too Late For Her
Men, if you’re still looking for love we’ve got a sweet life hack for you today — trick a nice girl into marrying you by hiding your obsessive hobby until after you’ve tied the knot and she’s stuck with you.
13 Things Safer To Give Your Kids Than A Smartphone
The kids are really begging for smartphones this Christmas, but we all know there are potential risks. In lieu of purchasing your child a smartphone, perhaps consider any of these 13 safer alternatives:
Kwanzaa Finally Revealed To Be Elaborate Prank On White People
U.S. — In a corroboration of what many had long suspected, a new report finally confirmed that the holiday of Kwanzaa had been revealed to be an elaborate prank on white people.
Trump Announces Aid Package To Farmers To Help Them Deal With How Amazing Economy Is
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A $12 billion aid package for the agricultural industry is designed to help American farmers cope with how good the economy is, President Trump announced Monday.