LAS VEGAS, NV — What was thought of up until recently as a promising college football coaching career took a sad turn this week, as after being charged with multiple felonies, former University of Michigan coach Sherrone Moore was forced to move to the NFL.
Babylon Bee
Democrats Warn That Ban On Islamic Immigration May Delay Global Intifada
WASHINGTON, D.C. — An executive order banning immigration from several Muslim-majority countries compelled Democratic lawmakers to voice concerns that this may delay the global intifada.
Tragic: Mamdani’s Auntie Slightly Uncomfortable At Supermarket After Australian Terror Attack
NEW YORK, NY — The leader of America’s most prominent city experienced a family crisis today, as reports indicated that New York City Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani’s aunt felt slightly uncomfortable at a supermarket in the wake of the Australian Islamic terror attack.
Kid Who Didn’t Practice For Christmas Choir Immediately Obvious
FLINT, MI — Parishioners of St. John’s Lutheran Church say it was immediately obvious which kid didn’t practice for the children’s Christmas choir this year.
Australian Man Who Wrestled Gun Away From Terrorist Charged With Unlawful Firearm Possession
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA — A heroic man who bravely wrestled away a rifle from an Islamic terrorist during the deadly shooting at Bondi Beach on Sunday has been formally charged with the unlawful possession of a firearm.
To Halt Violence Against Jews, Australia Bans Hanukkah
MELBOURNE — To stem the growing tide of violence against Jewish citizens, the Australian government has moved to officially ban the celebration of Hanukkah.
FAKE NEWS: Media Reports Mass Shooting In Australia But That’s Impossible Because Guns Are Illegal There
WORLD — Fake news media across the globe have reported that a mass shooting occurred in Australia, which is literally impossible because guns are illegal there.
Sick Husband Taken Care Of By Sicker Wife
RICHMOND, KY — Local husband Kevin Manthei fell ill over the weekend, requiring constant care and attention from his wife Bethany, who is currently much more ill.
Candace Owens Honors Charlie Kirk’s Legacy By Doing Everything In Her Power To Destroy It
U.S. — Podcaster and amateur sleuth Candace Owens has vowed to honor Charlie Kirk’s legacy by doing everything in her power to destroy it.
12 Fun Activities That Are Less Likely To Destroy Your Family Than ‘Monopoly’
Countless families have been destroyed by games of Monopoly gone awry. Don’t let that happen to you.