BEREA, OH — After existing as a known sports entity for over 80 years, the Cleveland Browns embarrassingly admitted that they had only recently come to the sudden realization that they had forgotten to put a logo on their helmets this whole time.
Babylon Bee
In Show Of Support For Immigrants, Pope Leo Dons New Papal Sombrero
VATICAN — In a powerful show of solidarity with people who cross America’s southern border illegally, Pope Leo XIV unveiled a brand new Papal Sombrero at the Vatican.
11 Chilling Examples Of American Christians Being Persecuted
Being a Christian can be rough — especially if you’re a Christian in America. Believers in other countries may have a hard time, but American Christians face challenges on an entirely different level.
To Save Time, ICE Begins Mass Arrests Of Everyone At Soccer Fields
U.S. — In order to increase its efficiency in finding illegal immigrants, ICE has unveiled a new tactic of going to all the soccer fields in town and mass-arresting everyone present.
Authorities Zeroing In On Leader Of Furry Terrorist Cell
U.S. — With the increase in violence against conservative political leaders and influencers posing a great threat to national security and the lives of Americans, federal authorities revealed that they were zeroing in on the leader of a suspected furry terrorist cell.
Shocking Study Reveals Someone Still Making Avatar Movies
LOS ANGELES, CA — The results of a shocking new study conducted by researchers at UCLA sent ripples through the scientific community this week, confirming what many have long suspected: someone, somewhere is still making Avatar movies.
Starving African Children Raise Money To Feed Ariana Grande
MEKELLE, ETHIOPIA — Starving African children bravely banded together this week to raise money to feed singer and actress Ariana Grande.
Trump Sadly Announces A Dog Ate The Epstein Files And Then The Dog Was Lost In A Boating Accident And Then The Boat Was Nuked
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump had been looking forward to releasing all of the Epstein files in accordance with Congress’s "Epstein Files Transparency Act", but reported that a dog actually ate the files, the dog was then lost in a boating accident, and then the boat was struck…
Local Wives Set Up Playdate For Their Husbands
TULSA, OK — Fun was set to be had by everyone in a few local families this week, as a group of wives reached out to each other to schedule a playdate for their husbands.
Bearded 6’4″ Man In A Dress Says He Needs An Awareness Week For Greater Visibility
LOS ANGELES, CA — Alyx Denton, a 6′ 4" bearded man who enjoys dressing up in sparkly women’s clothing, explained that "Trans Awareness Week" was absolutely necessary or else he might go totally unnoticed.