INDIANAPOLIS, IN — With all the ongoing controversy over inappropriate items being thrown onto the court during basketball games, a local family struggled to answer their grandmother’s question about why everyone is talking about the WNBA these days.
Babylon Bee
Drug Cartels Begin Using Kryptonite To Fend Off ICE Agent Dean Cain
U.S. — Radioactive debris from the planet Krypton, known as Kryptonite, was discovered at the site of an ICE raid on Friday, signaling that Mexican cartels had begun carrying the dangerous substance in an attempt to thwart new ICE agent Dean Cain.
Democrats Warn New Trump Census Could Negate All The Illegal Alien Votes Biden Brought In
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After President Donald Trump ordered census takers to only include U.S. citizens in their counts, Democrats warned the country that the new rule could negate all the illegal alien votes Joe Biden worked so hard to bring in.
10 Common Misconceptions About The Bible, Corrected
The Bible is the most widely read and revered book in human history, but there are still a lot of misconceptions about what it is and what it says.
Due To Child Actors Aging, ‘Stranger Things’ Season 5 To Take Place In Haunted Nursing Home
U.S. — As a result of lengthy production delays, the child actors of the popular Netflix show Stranger Things have aged out of their roles, and the show has been forced to pivot, moving its setting from the suburban neighborhood and school yards of Hawkins, Indiana, to a…
Gina Carano Settles With Disney, Will Replace Pedro Pascal In All Movies
BURBANK, CA — In the conclusion to a years-long legal battle, actress and former MMA fighter Gina Carano announced that she had reached an agreement to settle with Disney and would subsequently replace Pedro Pascal in all movies.
Pro Tip: Treat Your Depression By Going For A Run — The Misery Of Running Will Distract You From Your Depression
Are you feeling depressed? Lethargic? A new study says you may just need to go for a run, as the misery of running will distract you from your depression.
Female Umpire Ejects Player For Something He Did In Her Dream Last Night
ATLANTA, GA — The qualifications of a new female Major League Baseball umpire were called into question today as, during a simulated game the night before, she ejected a player for something he did in her dream last night.
Sound Of Husband Plopping Down On Couch Helpfully Reminds Wife There’s Something She Wanted Him To Do
TULSA, OK — Witnesses said local wife Danielle Matson perked up quickly after hearing the sound of her husband, Dave, plopping down on the couch, as it instantly reminded her of all the things she needed him to do for her.
9 Things Trump Is Doing To Get The U.S. Out Of Debt
With the country facing an astronomical deficit unlike anything previous generations could have imagined, President Donald Trump has reportedly made it a priority to take the situation more seriously and begin the hard work of getting the country out of the hole.