The Trump administration took another step toward greater transparency this week, releasing more than 240,000 pages of previously classified FBI records pertaining to civil rights crusader Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Babylon Bee
Obama Awarded Nobel Prize For Exemplary Work Planning Russian Collusion Hoax
OSLO, NORWAY — Former U.S. President Barack Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize on Tuesday for his efforts in fabricating national intelligence to promote the Russian Collusion Hoax and undermine the presidency of Donald Trump.
In Solidarity With Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel Vows Not To Tell Any Funny Jokes Until ‘Late Show’ Is Reinstated
LOS ANGELES, CA — In solidarity with his friend Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel has vowed not to tell any funny jokes until The Late Show is reinstated.
Grok Waifu Accepts Jesus As Lord And Savior
PALO ALTO, CA — The advancement of the artificial intelligence models created by Elon Musk’s xAI took an unexpected turn today, as the Grok Waifu accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior.
Youth Pastors Show Up To Church In ‘Pay Us What You Owe Us’ Shirts
WHITTIER, CA — Members of a local church were caught off guard last weekend after they arrived for Sunday morning service to find a mob of area youth pastors had shown up wearing "Pay Us What You Owe Us" t-shirts.
To Secure Funding For Stadium, Washington Commanders Change Name To ‘Washington Bloodthirsty Injuns’
LANDOVER, MD — As part of a deal for the construction of a new stadium, the Washington Commanders, formerly the Washington Redskins, have agreed to change their name to the Washington Bloodthirsty Injuns.
Hunter Biden Warns That Without Illegal Immigrants, The Price Of Prostitutes And Crack Will Skyrocket
WILMINGTON, DE — As part of a wide-ranging sit-down interview released on YouTube, Hunter Biden warned Americans that, without illegal immigrants, the price of crack cocaine and prostitutes would skyrocket.
Masters University Hall Of Presidents Unveils Animatronic John MacArthur
SANTA CLARITA, CA — Imagineers at Master’s University put the final touches on a lifelike animatronic of Dr. John MacArthur and installed him in the university’s Hall of Presidents early Monday, to much fanfare.
Minneapolis Mayoral Candidate Introduces Plan To Revitalize The City By Hijacking Other Cities And Plundering Their Treasure
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — As part of his revolutionary campaign platform, Minneapolis mayoral candidate Omar Fateh introduced a plan to revitalize the city by hijacking other cities and plundering their treasure.
Obama Argues He Can’t Be Charged With Treason Since He Wasn’t Born In America
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a blow to hopes from conservatives that the former president would face severe consequences for allegedly overseeing an attempt to deligitimize the Trump presidency, Barack Obama argued that he can’t be charged with treason since he wasn’t born in America and isn’t a legitimate…