U.S. — Longtime Sesame Street resident Elmo decried the federal government’s defunding of PBS as an "obvious Jewish conpsiracy."
Babylon Bee
FASCISM ALERT: Show That Wasn’t Making Money Canceled
NEW YORK CITY — In a stunning example of rampant fascism, a TV network cancelled a show that wasn’t making any money and had terrible ratings.
Media Unconcerned With Circulation To Biden’s Brain Deeply Concerned About Circulation To Trump’s Ankles
U.S. — The news media which remained unconcerned for four years by the lack of circulation to former President Biden’s brain have expressed deep concern over the circulation in President Trump’s ankles.
Ten Ideas For Better Shows To Replace ‘The Late Show’ With Stephen Colbert
After announcing the cancellation of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, CBS is hard at work searching for a better program to replace their old flagship. Here are ten great ideas that would be way better than The Late Show:
Avoid Getting Exposed Cheating On Your Wife With Your HR Chick At A Coldplay Concert With This One Weird Trick
Have you found yourself wondering how you could prevent the shame and horror of having it found out that you’re being unfaithful to your spouse while canoodling with a fellow executive at your company at a public event? One simple trick is all it takes.
Baptists Hold Conclave To Select The Next John MacArthur
NASHVILLE, TN — Following the passing of Pastor John MacArthur, Baptists announced that they would be holding a conclave to select the next John MacArthur.
Republicans Celebrate $9 Billion In Spending Cuts After Passing Bill That Adds $3 Trillion To National Debt
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congressional Republicans were publicly congratulating themselves this week, celebrating $9 billion in spending cuts shortly after passing a bill that will add $3 trillion to the national debt.
David And Bathsheba Caught On Kiss Cam At Concert
JERUSALEM — According to palace sources, an egregious sin committed by King David and Bathsheba was exposed to the public after they were caught on a kiss cam at Levite concert.
Winning: DOJ Announces They Have Arrested Man Responsible For Creating Microsoft OneDrive
U.S. — In an afternoon press conference, U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi proudly announced that the man responsible for Microsoft OneDrive had been arrested, ending an almost 20-year-long reign of terror that affected millions.
WSJ Reveals Trump Once Wrote ‘BOOBS’ On A Calculator And Showed It To Epstein
U.S. — In a shocking exposé that threatened to topple the presidential administration, the Wall Street Journal revealed that Donald Trump once wrote "BOOBS" on a calculator and showed it to Jeffrey Epstein.