ORLANDO — For a limited time, Red Lobster’s menu will be updated to include a "Box of Things We Found at the Beach."
Babylon Bee
Report: Trump Bill Will Cause 175 Billion People To Lose Medicaid And Die
U.S. — An alarming report from the Foundation for Communal Socialistic Equity has confirmed that Trump’s signature "Big Beautiful Bill" will cause 175 billion people to lose their Medicaid and die horrible deaths.
Check It Out: 10 More States Announce Fun Migrant Prisons
Check out what’s coming above! Any others you’d like to see? Let us know in the comments below.
How 9 Politicians Are Celebrating This 4th Of July
It’s birthday time once again for the greatest nation on earth: America. Everybody likes to celebrate ‘Murica a little differently – here are how nine famous politicians are planning to mark the 4th of July this year:
Subway Names Diddy As New Spokesman
U.S. — The Subway sandwich franchise has excitedly announced its newest spokesman, Sean "Diddy" Combs.
Op-Ed: The Problem With Kids These Days Is Not Enough Of Them Smoke Cigarettes
Kids these days are a bunch of weenies, and it all starts with not enough of them smoking cigarettes.
Sad: Great White Shark Stripped Of UPenn Women’s Swimming Title
PHILADELPHIA, PA — After years of outrage, a Pennsylvanian Great White shark was stripped this morning of its University of Pennsylvania Women’s Swimming titles by school officials.
UPenn Announces Matt Walsh As New Women’s Swim Coach
PHILADELPHIA — In addition to stripping transgender swimmer Lia Thomas of his titles the University of Pennsylvania has agreed to hire on Matt Walsh as the new women’s swim coach.
Diddy Celebrates Acquittal With Massive Freak-Off
LOS ANGELES — Sean "Diddy" Coombs celebrated his acquittal on sex trafficking and racketeering charges this morning by hosting a massive "freak-off."
UK Police Release Updated Chart Showing Who You’re Allowed To Be Racist Against
LONDON — In a move intended to help citizens direct their hatred toward the appropriate parties, UK police released an updated chart showing who you’re currently allowed to be racist against.