KABUL — In a newly released video, the terrorist group Al-Qaeda has claimed responsibility for the changing of the Cracker Barrel logo.
Babylon Bee
‘No, I Didn’t Eat Any Of That Walmart Shrimp,’ Says Husband Glowing Neon Green
TUCSON, AZ — Local husband Ryan Masterson denied having consumed any radioactive Walmart shrimp, though his wife had her doubts due to his entire body emitting a soft neon green glow.
10 Most Shocking Discoveries From The John Bolton FBI Raid
The Maryland home of former National Security Advisor John Bolton was raided by government agents today, leaving the public wondering what the FBI was looking for — and what they found.
ESPN Reminds Nation Watching Women’s Basketball Is Mandatory
BRISTOL, CT — ESPN hosts reminded the nation Friday that watching women’s basketball games is a mandatory activity strictly enforced by the governing authorities.
California Fines Family For Building Sandcastle Without Coastal Commission Approval
OCEANSIDE, CA — A family’s beach trip ended in disaster after they were cited by a state official for building a sand castle together without prior authorization from the California Coastal Commission.
Waffle House Unveils Successful Brand Strategy Of Just Keeping Everything The Same Forever
NORCROSS, GA — Following the public relations disaster Cracker Barrel experienced this week after it introduced its new logo, popular restaurant chain Waffle House unveiled a successful strategy of just keeping everything the same forever.
Black Mesa Research Facility Fails Another OSHA Inspection
NEW MEXICO — The government-funded Black Mesa Research Facility is currently in danger of being shut down after being hit with yet another OSHA violation.
John Bolton Eludes FBI By Blending Into A Herd Of Walruses
BETHESDA, MD — Federal agents raided the home of former National Security Advisor John Bolton on Friday as part of a security probe involving classified documents. Unfortunately, the whereabouts of Bolton were currently unknown, as it was believed that he escaped by blending in with a nearby herd…
Meet Hannah, The New Fully Clothed And Chaste A.I. Assistant From The Babylon Bee
Unsure about which of the myriad A.I. assistants out there is right for you? Try Hannah, the new fully clothed and chaste A.I. assistant from The Babylon Bee.
Peacemaker: Trump Negotiates Historic Truce Between IPhone And Android Users
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Continuing his string of pulling off peace treaties that many thought to be impossible, President Donald Trump announced that he had successfully negotiated a historic truce between iPhone and Android users.