Denis Villeneuve, director of the Dune films, has been tapped to helm the next film in the long-running James Bond film series. But who will play Ian Fleming’s master spy? Sources have said auditions are well underway, and some clear frontrunners are already under consideration.
Babylon Bee
That Tucker Carlson Sure Is A Moron [This Post Sponsored By The Jews]
Tucker Carlson is the worst person who has ever walked the face of the earth. Want to know why? Read on, friend, and we’ll tell you.
In Powerful Dissent, Ketanji Brown Jackson Simply Writes ‘Wakanda Forever’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following the U.S. Supreme Court’s latest ruling in favor of President Trump, Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson penned a scathing rebuke in a dissenting opinion where she simply wrote "Wakanda Forever."
20-Year Veteran VBS Leader Taken Up Into Heaven In Chariot Of Fire During Closing Program
KISSIMMEE, FL — VBS volunteers at First Baptist Church say that their veteran leader of 20 years was taken up into heaven in a chariot of fire during this year’s closing program.
Honest Pastor Brags About His Moderately Attractive Wife
EAST LONGMEADOW, MA — Congregants said Pastor Michael Boldman set a great example of honesty at Fruit of the Cross Church, where he reportedly bragged about his moderately attractive wife.
Massive Terrorist Sleeper Cell Discovered In Massachusetts
CAMBRIDGE, MA — The Department of Homeland Security announced that a massive terrorist sleeper cell was discovered hiding just outside of Boston, Massachusetts.
Wife Offers Husband Compromise: If He Lets Her Get Chickens She’ll Let Him Do All The Work
SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Local woman Rachel Gentry told her husband she’d compromise on her proposal to get a coop full of chickens by letting him do all the work if he let her get the backyard poultry.
Supreme Court Legalizes Trump Presidency
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Supreme Court issued a ruling this morning that it is legal for President Donald Trump to be the president.
‘God Works All Things Together For Good,’ Mutters Man As He Finds Perfect Parking Spot
SPRINGFIELD, MO — Evidence of things unseen was witnessed by one local believer today, as a man found reassurance of the Lord’s plan in his life after he managed to find the perfect parking spot.
7 Changes Mamdani Is Proposing For New York City
Following his victory in the Democratic Party primary, Zohran Mamdani is now the frontrunner for New York City mayor, and people are wondering what plans he may have in mind for the Big Apple.