NEW YORK — A New Jersey man applying for a job on Wall Street admitted to being nervous going into a job interview at investment banking firm Morgan Stanley and was reportedly holding out hope that the interviewer would ask him how much he knows about Batman.
Babylon Bee
Pete Hegseth Vows Military Will Not Discriminate Against Chicks, Broads, Or Dames
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth responded to allegations of sexism on Thursday by vowing that the United States military would never discriminate against chicks, broads, or dames.
In Historic 6-3 Supreme Court Decision, 3 Justices Ruled To Be Morons
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Ramifications were predicted to be felt for generations after today, as in a historic 6-3 Supreme Court decision, 3 justices were ruled to be morons.
Democrats Discover Innovative Strategy Of Promising Free Stuff To Stupid People
NEW YORK, NY — Democratic Party strategists were thrilled this week after they stumbled upon an innovative new strategy of winning elections by promising free stuff to stupid people.
Ayatollah Proudly Announces Iran Has Destroyed 14 Bunker Buster Bombs With Its Nuclear Facilities
TEHRAN — Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini declared a resounding victory over the United States and Israel after Iran destroyed 14 American bunker buster bombs with its nuclear facilities.
Defeated Cuomo Left Groping For Answers
NEW YORK CITY — After suffering a shocking defeat to a previously little-known socialist, former governor Andrew Cuomo was left groping for answers as to where it all went wrong.
Church Warns Of Impending Shortage Of Sweet White-Haired Ladies That Give You Peppermints
FORT WAYNE, IN — An ecumenical gathering of pastors and laity recently warned that the church in America now faces an impending shortage of sweet, elderly white-haired ladies that give you peppermints.
CNN: Hiroshima ‘Barely Set Back’ By Atomic Bomb
U.S. — CNN has obtained a classified briefing revealing that the city of Hiroshima was "barely affected" after being hit by an atomic bomb.
9 Hardest Parts Of Pregnancy For Husbands
Trump’s Christian Faith Questioned As He Didn’t Say ‘Fudge’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Donald Trump’s devout Christian faith is being called into question following an interaction with the press where he used a curse word instead of saying "fudge."