NEW YORK CITY — New York City mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani paraglided into his campaign event today in honor of October 7th and the horrific atrocities committed by Hamas that day.
Babylon Bee
James Comey Produces Letter Signed By 51 Former Intelligence Officials Saying He’s Totally Innocent
ALEXANDRIA, VA — At his arraignment on charges of making false statements and obstruction, former FBI Director James Comey produced a letter signed by 51 former intelligence officials testifying to the fact that he’s totally innocent.
Embarrassed Jay Jones Realizes He’s Only Supposed To Want To Murder Kids Before They’re Born
ARLINGTON, VA — An embarrassed Jay Jones realized earlier this week that he was only supposed to support murdering kids before they were born, not after.
Governor Pritzker Activates 100 Battalions Of Illegal Immigrants In War Against ICE
SPRINGFIELD, IL — Seeking to ramp up his opposition force against the invasion of federal agents seeking to enforce the law, Governor JB Pritzker activated 100 battalions of illegal immigrants in Illinois’s war against ICE.
20 Christ Metaphors In Video Games
Video games have a reputation for violence and novelty, but they can actually be quite Christ-focused. Just consider these top 20 Christ metaphors in video games:
Wife Decides To Ask Question To 10,000 Random Strangers On Facebook Rather Than Googling It
FRANKLIN, KY — A strange phenomenon was observed in a local household this week, as a husband noticed that his wife again decided to ask a question to 10,000 random strangers on Facebook rather than just googling it to get the right answer.
With Government Shutdown Closing National Parks, Moose Forced to Find New Jobs
GRAND TETONS, WA — In a tragic displacement caused by the ongoing government shutdown of National Parks, moose across the country have been forced to find new jobs.
The Three Surviving Members Of Hamas Starting To Think Oct. 7 Wasn’t A Great Idea
GAZA — The few remaining terrorists keeping up the fight against Israel acknowledged their grim circumstances this week, as the three surviving members of Hamas started to think that maybe their October 7, 2023, wasn’t such a great idea.
Parents Worried Non-Violent Video Games Turning Kids Into Sissies
U.S. — The results of a new study on violent video games appear to show that parents are concerned that non-violent video games are turning their kids into sissies.
Chicago Mayor Hoping His ICE-Free Zones Work Better Than His Gun-Free Zones
CHICAGO, IL — As the city seeks to push back against President Donald Trump’s efforts to enforce immigration law, Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson told his aides that he hoped their "ICE-Free Zones" would work a lot better than their "Gun-Free Zones."