U.S. — According to sources, Americans no longer need dystopian sci-fi novels to serve as ominous warnings of authoritarian control or societal collapse, as they now have England for that.
Babylon Bee
Trump Vows To Drastically Reduce The Number Of Criminals In Washington By Sending Congress Home
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to growing concern across the country about rampant crime in the nation’s capital, President Donald Trump vowed to drastically reduce the number of criminals in Washington, D.C., by sending members of Congress home.
DC Mayor Warns Trump’s Crime Fighting Measures Will Unfairly Impact Criminals
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following the announcement that the president had ordered the federalization of law enforcement in the nation’s capital, Washington, D.C., Mayor Muriel Bowser warned that Trump’s crime-fighting measures would unfairly impact criminals.
8 Changes Trump Is Making To The 2028 Olympics
After declaring himself chair of the 2028 Olympic Task Force, President Trump wasted no time in making much-needed alterations to the summer games. Here are eight changes that will be coming when the Olympics heads to Los Angeles:
Spirit Flight Attendant Says In The Event Of A Water Landing Lifejackets Will Be Available For $39.99
U.S. — Spirit Airlines flight attendants have begun advertising that in the event of a water landing, passengers will have the option of purchasing a lifejacket for $39.99.
Study Finds Alcohol Sales Spike Sharply During VBS
U.S. — A national study has found massive spikes in alcohol sales whenever a Vacation Bible School is hosted nearby.
Family Struggling To Answer Grandma’s Question About Why Everyone Is Talking About The WNBA
INDIANAPOLIS, IN — With all the ongoing controversy over inappropriate items being thrown onto the court during basketball games, a local family struggled to answer their grandmother’s question about why everyone is talking about the WNBA these days.
Drug Cartels Begin Using Kryptonite To Fend Off ICE Agent Dean Cain
U.S. — Radioactive debris from the planet Krypton, known as Kryptonite, was discovered at the site of an ICE raid on Friday, signaling that Mexican cartels had begun carrying the dangerous substance in an attempt to thwart new ICE agent Dean Cain.
Democrats Warn New Trump Census Could Negate All The Illegal Alien Votes Biden Brought In
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After President Donald Trump ordered census takers to only include U.S. citizens in their counts, Democrats warned the country that the new rule could negate all the illegal alien votes Joe Biden worked so hard to bring in.
10 Common Misconceptions About The Bible, Corrected
The Bible is the most widely read and revered book in human history, but there are still a lot of misconceptions about what it is and what it says.