NEW YORK CITY — Zohran Mamdani, winner of New York City’s mayoral Democratic primary, has vowed to knock down the One World Trade Center in order to build more affordable housing.
Babylon Bee
Hamas Claims Responsibility For NYC Mayoral Primary
NEW YORK — The Hamas terrorist organization has claimed responsibility for the results of last night’s mayoral primary in New York City.
Get A Load Of This Dweeb Who Still Thinks We Care About What The Constitution Says
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Get a load of this total dweeb of a congressman who still thinks we care about what the Constitution says.
Trump Bombed Iran. Here’s How 12 Media Outlets Covered The Story
Welp, it looks like Trump bombed Iran. The Babylon Bee has assembled headlines from various media outlets here in one place so you can pick a little bit of the truth out of each to learn the whole story.
7 Clear Signs The Great Tribulation Is Near
Each passing moment brings us one step closer to the end times. Concerned? Keep an eye out for these signs that the tribulation is at hand.
Nation’s Obese Air Travelers Announce Plans To Sit Next To You
ORLANDO, FL — Obese air travelers around the country have just announced plans to sit right next to you on your flight.According to morbidly overweight persons scattered throughout America’s airports, you’ll have a large amount of company on every flight you ever take for the rest of your…
Politicians Warn Ceasefire Is Slippery Slope Toward Peace In Middle East
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Washington politicians sounded the alarm Tuesday that a ceasefire agreement brokered by President Trump between Israel and Iran may be a slippery slope that leads to peace in the Middle East.
Peace In Middle East Lasts Record 27 Minutes
MIDDLE EAST — The region rejoiced and the world marvelled as peace broke out in the Middle East and lasted a record 27 minutes.
Second-Edition Copy Of ‘The Communist Manifesto’ Currently Leads NYC Mayor Race
NEW YORK, NY — All eyes have turned toward the New York mayoral primaries, as a new poll indicated that a second edition copy of The Communist Manifesto now holds a sizeable lead over other Democratic Party candidates.
‘Declaring War Is Our Job,’ Declare Congressmen Who Never Do Their Job
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Ongoing hostilities in the Middle East raised tensions in the nation’s capital as well, with frustrated legislators who fail to meet their responsibilities on a daily basis reminded everyone that launching military actions was their responsibility.