With the world falling apart and the threat of a nuclear holocaust looming each day, everyone can agree that the greatest threat facing humanity is gas-powered cars. That’s why, as an alternative, people are turning to more carbon-friendly vehicles. But which ones are best?
Babylon Bee
LDS Church Launches Missionary BMX Games
SALT LAKE CITY — The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has officially launched the first annual BMX Missionary Games, where young missionaries will compete in the arena of BMX sports.
Everyone Was Wrong: God Confirms Book Of Revelation Was Actually About The War Of 1812
U.S. — Theologians have announced a startling discovery that everyone has been wrong about the book of Revelation for thousands of years. While many assumed it was referring to the end times, the tribulation, and the Second Coming, it now appears to have been written entirely about the…
Millions Of Britons Drop Dead After Seeing Strange Shiny Yellow Thing In Sky For First Time
THE UNITED KINGDOM — Millions of residents of the United Kingdom dropped dead after seeing a giant shiny ball in the sky for the very first time.
Trump Announces He Has Evidence Thomas Massie Is Only Weeks Away From Acquiring Nuclear Weapons
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Tensions continued to escalate both around the world and domestically, as President Donald Trump announced today that he has evidence that Congressman Thomas Massie was only weeks away from acquiring nuclear weapons.
Obama Distraught As Trump Bombs Cool Nuke Factory He Paid For
EDGARTOWN, MA — With the news that the U.S. military had carried out a successful bombing operation in Iran over the weekend, former President Barack Obama was reportedly distraught that President Donald Trump had bombed the cool nuke factory he had paid for.
Americans Surprised To Learn We Weren’t Already Bombing Iran
U.S. — As President Donald Trump announced that the U.S. military had engaged in a bombing attack on Iranian nuclear sites, Americans across the country were surprised to learn that we weren’t already bombing Iran.
Pathetic Excuse For Disciple Fails To Get Single Epistle Into Bible
WORLD — The sorry excuse for a disciple known as "Saint Bartholomew" died without having penned a single epistle that would make it into the Bible.
Report: Toby Keith Smiling Down From Heaven
HEAVEN — Sources confirmed that Toby Keith smiled his biggest grin today as he watched American B-2 bombers rain down bunker buster bombs on Iran.
What Are The Deeply Buried Sins In Your Heart You Need Jesus To Drop A Bunker Buster On? – Op-Ed By Chet Skatington
Alright, fam. You may have heard in the news that Iran has this nuke factory buried so far underground, only a bunker buster can reach it. There’s this evil that’s way down deep, but no one there has the power to root it out. They need someone else…